Fart ??

[RHARVEY]

One time a couple of years ago a bunch of friends and I went to Six Flags in Santa Clarita, Ca. We had drank heavily the night before and it was hotter that haites out there in the middle of summer. Being it was a saturday, there were quite a few people there and well, the lines were pretty long. All of us had been tearin it up in the lines all day, by the afternoon I was positive I had to download, and quickly too, found the restroom and headed that way. I found the only open stall and thought I was'nt going to get my shorts down in time, I swear this turd flew out of my hind end at about mach 6. Immediately followed by the largest gastro-intestinal release of my entire life to date. I heard at least 4 other guys in there say "what the ****!!!" and "oh my god!!! then toilet paper rolls and opening doors. I started laughing so hard I could'nt stop. My buddy said he heard it outside the bathrooms. I swear that one little turd was plugging up the whole works but when it let go it was the

Tom you are one sick pup :-laf :-laf :-laf



Rick

 

[daveshoe]

Pizza Burgers

Back in the eighties, I did a stint as a carpentry instructor at the high school level. They called it a joint vocational school as several area schools supplied students for trade and industry. We were building a house off site to the school ,so I drove 20 kids to the site and had a four hours a day to work on the house. To get more work done, we ate at 10:00 and on pizza burger day this one kid could soften the plastic on the steering wheel with his noxious vapors.

Remember those old school buses with the exposed defroster fan? That fan prooved to be my salvation,as the kid's buddy would set off the alarm by just about coming undone when his triend let the SBD escape. To show my great appreciation for the early warning system, I finally let him violate the rule of no changing seats on the moving bus. Now he could jump in behind me in the shotgun seat and turn on the fan which was positioned to create an island of safety in the ocean of stink that resulted. The side benefit was that I kept both hands on the wheel and it kept my eyes from watering.

 

[Canadian Cummins]

The Ultimate Aim of Mankind

This is the best thread yet, have to keep cleaning me eye glasses!



Ever since I was a kid I have wondered if it was possible to Fart & Burp at the exact same time????



In my 50+ years I have not been able to do this.



Lets see if anyone has!! :-laf :{



Just adding a little compition here.



Canadian Cummins

 

[C. Harlan]

Y'all need to check This if y'all want a good laugh. I just had to include this, and I was laughing so hard, I almost peed in my pants watching it! Check it out and tell me what y'all think!



-Chris-

 

[lschultz]

This is the best thread yet, have to keep cleaning me eye glasses!



Ever since I was a kid I have wondered if it was possible to Fart & Burp at the exact same time????



In my 50+ years I have not been able to do this.



Lets see if anyone has!! :-laf :{



Just adding a little compition here.



Canadian Cummins

Dialed the wrong number a few times.

Well I fart plenty of the time when I am taking a leak course there have been a few times when something dropped into the fruit of the loom.

 

[DHorton]

Ok. I know I should let this thread die, but my children negate this possibility.

This past week:

My wife is taking my kids over to their Nana's. My oldest gets a whif of something that just ain't cuttin it. She starts to blame her younger sister and gets, "IT AIN'T ME, I HAVE MY BUTTCHEEKS SQUEEZED!". Of course the culprit was behind the wheel of the car and liked to have wrecked when she heard her innocent baby's reasoning.



It's a shame when we let others take credit for something we created.

 

[CSnyder]

A couple of days ago I let one go that was so loud my wife sat straight up in bed screaming HOLY CRAP! The best part was that we were sound asleep and it happened just moments before the alarm clock went off. I cannot believe myself on the volume my arse emitted... . it was obnoxious! Chris

 

[bmoeller]

Is that fartometer digital or analog?

Wouldn't anallog be more accurate?

 

[Signal73]

Fart=funny



shart=funnier



:-laf

 

[Alphacowboy]

I get some nasty smelling farts from time to time, and Holeshot, the wife has experianced the "dutch oven" a couple times! But I must admit, she has done it to me a time or two as well... . :-laf I knew I had a keeper when my wife dropped a fart on our second date, while waiting inline for a movie... I smelled somthing bad, looked at her and said, WTH is that, she gave me that inocent look and said, i dont know... . everyone around us was looking around with that disgusted face, We still laugh about it today. :-laf Finally glad I found a woman I can fart around without getting crap for it! I swear, on our colorado trip last week, I bet between the 2 of us, we farted over 200-300+ times in the poor Jeep. I let one fly and no kidding, I made my poor wife choke! She seriously gasped for air! It was bad, I almost gaged!

 

[JApol]

I have a friend at work who it notorious for peeling paint off the walls. One day this guy comes into worl laughing.

The story is that sometime during the night he let one go, not wanting to get the missus po'ed he wafts the smell over the dog. He said the dog woke up, gave him a go to hades look and walked out of the room. How many can say that they have grossed out a dog?

 

[nickleinonen]

:-laf:{:-laf:{:-laf:{:-laf

 

[RandyHamilton]

I have a friend at work who it notorious for peeling paint off the walls. One day this guy comes into worl laughing.

The story is that sometime during the night he let one go, not wanting to get the missus po'ed he wafts the smell over the dog. He said the dog woke up, gave him a go to hades look and walked out of the room. How many can say that they have grossed out a dog?

Now that's OMG funny!!

 

[HoleshotHolset]

I have a new recipe for disaster or "Blue Flame Special" according to TDR member 'Wheaties'...



White Castle's steam grilled burgers + entirely too much beer =



At IRP this year (and last year... ), that combination made me produce nearly a 1:5 ratio of food to gas. Unreal. I was outside in the parking lot at the AmeriHost and still parted the seas like Moses. Word to the wise, don't eat them at 3AM and then again at 11AM for brunch... you'll be declared hazmat.



Matt

 

[RHerrmann]

Ya know when youre driving or sitting down just the right way and let one rip. The ones that kind of bubble up the front past your private parts, and they kind of tickle when they go by. I came up with a name for them, I call them FARKLES. the ones that get stuck in your crack of a couple of seconds are called QUAIFS.

 

[Wheaties]

Blue Cloud Special

I have straightfaced ordered the 'Blue Cloud Special' at Burger King, and the gal behind the counter got me my onion rings.



Did I tell you all that before?



I also kept a straight face when I let one go during Thanksgiving last year, a real onion and turnip fart, man did it stink. Fortunately, the dog was passing by, and my uncle blamed it on the dog. First he said, "Aw, the dog farted!" After a moment, when the full impact him him, he said, "Oh my god, that's awful!!!"



Matt

 

[Highfinance97]

This is one of the weirdest threads i ve seen but i will add to it. .





Click here---->http://www.mrmethane.com/ :-laf :-laf :-laf





Michael

 

[WDixon27]

me! i had a day of particularly horible gas and when i got home and started playing with my dog through the fence and ripped one, once it got to him he yelped and ran into the dog house, oh to have had that on film

How many can say that they have grossed out a dog?

 

[bmoeller]

Awhile back I was at a friends shop when his little boy (I think he's 4) ran in the shop and said, "Daddy, Daddy, I crapped my pants. "



The dad replies "Why did you do that?"



The little boy with the straightest face ever says "I tried to fart and ran out of gas".

 

[nickleinonen]

:-laf:-laf:-laf