How ugly is your wife/GF?

[bmoeller]

Found this on www.stupid.com



An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.



They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.



The boy asked his father, "What is this father?"



The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is. "



While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady limping slightly with a cane slowly walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them and into a small room. The walls closed and as the boy and his father watched, small circles of light with numbers lighted up above the wall. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction, and then the walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.



The father said to his son, "Go get your Mother. "

 

[merryman]

WAAAyyy back, when I was a yound, yuppie lawyer, I had a client (a real estate developer), who every time he came in HAD to mention his girl friend who was according to him the most beautifull woman in the world!!!!

It was down right strange as no other client I ever had ever talked about how good/bad looking a wife or girl friend was.



On day when I had an appointment with this guy, for right after lunch, I was in a cafe next door grabbing a quick lunch when he came in with a woman; he rushed her over to my table to introduce her---the most beautifull woman in the world.



I thought she was wierd looking, down right ugly!!!!!!!!!!!! She could scare mean dogs!!



Later when he came up for the apointment, he had to know what I thought of her. I had a hell of a time answering him.



Vaughn

 

[illflem]

My wife's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.

When she got older even the tide wouldn't take her out.

 

[lschultz]

Its funny as the years go by how they change. Well I guess I have changed some too Used to be plenty of this now its:-{}

 

[nickleinonen]

When she got older even the tide wouldn't take her out.



:-laf :-laf that is the first time i have heard that one... :-laf :-laf

 

[BreaksEverything]

A Father & Son on an outing

One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of chicken wire. His father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch me some chickens. ' The father said, 'Son, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire. ' But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day, the son came home with two chickens in his hand. The father thought, 'I guess he knows what he's doing. ' The next morning, the son got up and was leaving the house with some duck tape. The father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch some ducks. ' The father yelled, 'You can't catch ducks with duck tape!' The son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day the son came home with two ducks under each arm. The father thought, 'Shoot, I guess he does know what he's doing!!' The next morning the son got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of girl thingywillows. The father said, 'Hold up, son, let me put on my shoes!'

 

[wcaldwell]

ALLLLLRIIIIGHTEYYYYTHEN

 

[bmoeller]

Re: A Father & Son on an outing

Originally posted by BreaksEverything

One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of chicken wire. His father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch me some chickens. ' The father said, 'Son, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire. ' But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day, the son came home with two chickens in his hand. The father thought, 'I guess he knows what he's doing. ' The next morning, the son got up and was leaving the house with some duck tape. The father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch some ducks. ' The father yelled, 'You can't catch ducks with duck tape!' The son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day the son came home with two ducks under each arm. The father thought, 'Shoot, I guess he does know what he's doing!!' The next morning the son got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of girl thingywillows. The father said, 'Hold up, son, let me put on my shoes!'

I've always liked that one.

 

[Hohn]

My wife might not be a supermodel, but she's the best all-around I could find, gorgeous in my eyes, and I think she's great. That, and she's the only one who would go for me



Justin

 

[DKayser]

Ug-Lee

So ugly they had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. :--)

 

[Steve M]

She looks just like a wilderbeast I tell ya but she's good protection when it's late at night in the jungle and all you can see is eyes!

 

[Deezul1]

My ex wife was so ugly she made a frieght train take a dirt road.