Letter From Your Horse

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Need Help From Someone in the South

I need prank ideas...

A letter from your horse (original version):



When you are tense, let me teach you to relax.

When you are short tempered, let me teach you to be patient.

When you are short sighted, let me teach you to see.

When you are quick to react, let me teach you to be.

When you are angry, let me teach you to be serene.

When you feel superior, let me teach you to be respectful.

When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to think of greater things.

When you are arrogant, let me teach you humility.

When you are lonely, let me be your companion.

When you are tired, let me carry the load.

When you need to learn, let me teach you.

After all, I am your horse.



And now, the REAL DEAL.....

When you are tense, let me teach you that there are lions in them thar woods and we need to leave NOW!

When you are short tempered, let me teach you to slog around the pasture for an hour before you can catch me.

When you are short sighted, let me teach you to figure out where, exactly, in the 40 acres I am hiding.

When you are quick to react, let me teach you that herbivores kick much faster & harder than omnivores.

When you are angry, let me teach you how well I can stand on my hind feet because I don't feel like

cantering on my right lead today.

When you are worried, let me entertain you with my mystery lameness.

When you feel superior, let me teach you that, mostly, you are the maid service.

When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION. Remember? I told you about those lions

in them thar woods?

When you are arrogant, let me teach you what 1200 lbs. Of "YAHOO LETS GO!" can do when suitably inspired.

When you are lonely, let me be your companion. Let's do lunch. Also, breakfast, snack and dinner.

When you are tired, don't forget the 600lbs. of grain that needs to be unloaded.

When you are feeling financially secure, let me teach you the meaning of "Veterinary Services".

When you want to learn, hang around, bud. I'll learn ya.

Sincerely,

Your Horse
 
When you are confident, let me show you humility.



When you are confident that you're going to win your equitation class, let me throw you off in front of the judge's booth and then crash through the gate and go back to the trailer and eat some hay. :eek: :D I love horses.



Sean
 
maid, i feel like a maid sometimes. hay'em and grain'em in the morning. Clean stalls, water buckets and hay'em and grain'em in the evening. on the weekends, chase them off the part of the pasture you chase them them off of, every weekend. And cut the crap out of your leg fixing the fence to keep them out again.



that's how my last weekend went... 8 staples in the leg later. . I'll be OK.



how so very true... ... . good one.
 
Re: clean stalls

Don't you just love that sound when you let your horse(s) back into the clean stall and the first thing they do is release that urine they seem to have held in all day?



Or, you have all the stalls cleaned up and the weather has taken a turn for the worse so out of the kindness of your heart, you bring them in early. Only, the change in schedule screws things up and they go in the wrong stall and the next thing you know, it's total chaos. Finally, they get things sorted out then you hear that "sound" again.
 
Quote:

When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION. Remember? I told you about those lions

in them thar woods?



My fox trotter and I have come accross fresh bear track, seen heards of elk, he stood quietly while we field dressed, skinned and quartered out a cow elk, I've shot my 7mm mag while standing right next to him and he never even flinched. Worked over his head while wiring the barn (all he did was bite the ladder and my feet:mad: ). But while on a trail ride we came accross some back-packers and he just about came out of his skin!

One must always be on his toes!
 
A Horse is like a boat... happiest day is the day ya bought it and the day ya sold it,



years ago I got the lesson, horse [old and gentle , and I went between two trees [oh not where I intended to go but where he decided to go] and got my legs split back where God never intended for them to go.



don't have any now but someday on the future will again :mad: yes dear LOL
 
Horses: the underutilized source of protein

I work at a boarding stable and help care for 22 horses in trade for a small house. I am rather tired of cleaning stalls, etc, etc. But the best part is that you get to think of all kinds of jokes about horses and their owners. I think the owners are worse than the horses. Most people see their horse twice a month and don't even work it. They pay someone else to do that. Now with all of that said, my wife owns a mule and I am looking for an older gelding to ride. You would think I would know better by now . . .





But at least I now have another excuse(s) to keep BOMBing the truck to pull the horse trailer:D



Jeremy
 
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