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Great Smoke Stories!

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The Night before Christmas

Like "rolling coal" ??

smoke

With the warmer weather here now in PA, I got the dodge out of the garage and made a few smoke screens at intersections today going to work.

Its wierd, some people are hesident to drive thru a carpet of smoke . . ?? #@$%!
 
Get this! In an act of kindness and to get out of the dog house I pulled up in front of the flower store to get my wife some flowers.

I parked on the left side of the one way road. Jumped out and did not put any money in the meter. I'd be there less then a minute.

The little parking patrol lady in her little go kart thing pulls up exactly even

with the exhaust and chews me out and hands me a parting citation.

So I finally had the chance to get even with her.

I jump the truck, stuff it in gear, kept the e-brake on and just let it fly.

I couldn't see her she was just covered in smoke.



I drove off. figured tag, your it.



Well not thinking she had my license number and a radio... ... ... ...

I made it about 3 miles and a cop had me pulled over.

The cop was laughing his *** off. He doesn't like her either.

He told me to behave myself, that I had a nice truck and we

parted ways. :)
 
Get this! In an act of kindness and to get out of the dog house I pulled up in front of the flower store to get my wife some flowers.

I parked on the left side of the one way road. Jumped out and did not put any money in the meter. I'd be there less then a minute.

The little parking patrol lady in her little go kart thing pulls up exactly even

with the exhaust and chews me out and hands me a parting citation.

So I finally had the chance to get even with her.

I jump the truck, stuff it in gear, kept the e-brake on and just let it fly.

I couldn't see her she was just covered in smoke.



I drove off. figured tag, your it.



Well not thinking she had my license number and a radio... ... ... ...

I made it about 3 miles and a cop had me pulled over.

The cop was laughing his *** off. He doesn't like her either.

He told me to behave myself, that I had a nice truck and we

parted ways. :)



I've read all 95 pages of this thread, and I think this story is my favorite:D I wish I could get the chance to do that to the STL city inspector that keeps telling me my 5 spare tires on my back patio are a health hazard#@$%! Their mounted and balanced! Only hazard I see is if my 5' tall wife nocks the whole stack of 35's over on top of her!
 
I've read all 95 pages of this thread, and I think this story is my favorite:D I wish I could get the chance to do that to the STL city inspector that keeps telling me my 5 spare tires on my back patio are a health hazard#@$%! Their mounted and balanced! Only hazard I see is if my 5' tall wife nocks the whole stack of 35's over on top of her!





I might have to park the truck on the street some night and sit up and wait for my parking ticket lady. I used to think she was kinda cute, but that all went out the window after a few $75 parking tickets for parking on the street in front of my house!



Corey
 
i don't know if it's a great smoke story but i witnessed a nearly continuous cloud of coal belching from a whipped looking 2nd gen C&C flatbed, it was pulling a small/medium trailer load of crap to go with the mobile home it was chasing on flat ground to a slight downgrade at 50 odd mph on the interstate
 
I might have to park the truck on the street some night and sit up and wait for my parking ticket lady. I used to think she was kinda cute, but that all went out the window after a few $75 parking tickets for parking on the street in front of my house!



Corey



I've got on the street parking too, fortunately never had a problem with it. Though, if I did I would have to declare war, don't have anyplace else to park... #@$%!
 
I might have to park the truck on the street some night and sit up and wait for my parking ticket lady. I used to think she was kinda cute, but that all went out the window after a few $75 parking tickets for parking on the street in front of my house!



Corey



Corey check your PM's and email... .
 
its been a while but i finally got one worth posting! i was just finished changing the rear diff fluid and was getting on the freeway when i saw i cloud of black, as anybody who reads this thread knows that will put any proud smoke blower on full alert, so i find the guy and he is driving a pretty nice powerstroke with those truck nuts hanging down, a bully dog sticker and a big exhaust tip (perfect :cool: ) well he is blowing smoke all over this car behind him and i can see him and his girl laughing inside the cab about it so i move around him and show him two 6" miters' version of real smoke! well he took the bait and got behind me in the wide open lane and i went from 50 to about 90 in a couple of seconds with him puffing a cloud of smoke but far far behind, he stayed way back the rest of the way to the exit which we both took and rolled down his window and gave me a thumbs up while his girlfriend was smiling and wishing she was riding in a cummins :-laf
 
So my normal "long way" was backed up for some reason. Funny how sunny warm mornings will slow traffic as bad as -20 and blizzard morning. .



So I take a different route to turn my 6 mile commute on city streets to some highway.



I'm putzing along at a leisurely 80mph with traffic on 694west. You wouldn't believe the crap people do on this road. Just to move up 5 feet closer to their exit. ARrrrrRggghh.



So Mr. BMW guy, windows up but sunroof open guy gets nestled right in on my tail gate. If this was nascar or something, SURE go a head and draft me. But not at 80mph with medium-heavy traffic. Just cuz your in a beemer doesn't mean you are more capable. So the brakes are applied gingerly. As expected he over reacts and slams on them and drives back over to the fast lane (I'm in the middle lane).



Typical tractor trailers all over the road. They don't care what lane they are in. Couple of slow movers in the left lane are approaching. As expected he gets in front of me and speeds off like he's Mr Autobaun!. I take note in the fact that this is not just any BMW, it's a 745i. $90,000 of snail snot speed class. May have a lot of leg room, but can't get outa it's own way.



The opportunity kinda fell in my hands when this guys countless lane changes landed him..... behind me..... So what does someone do this case? ohh yeah, let the coals roll. The smoke was doing barrel rolls right into his fancy car!



I did this a few times and let go. Until he decided to draft me again! Why you ask? I dunno, but it looked like he wanted to squeeze between me and the other guys front bumper. As he made his move I just rolled hard into the throttle gained a few trucks lengths, made a lane change in front on him. This entire time, engulfed in coal.



Needless to say as 494 and 94 were splitting off I was told that I was the #1 guy on the road and that was that.
 
Aren't those things available with a V12?!

This was the last body style 745i. The majority of them tho have the 4. 4 liter V8's. with only 320hp and they are a pig at over 4200 curb weight.

A google search tells me that v12's are only in the 760 series.

At almost 4900# curb weight and 438hp, that's not all that fast either for a 2006 model. low 14's if that in a 1/4. I wouldn't think twice to mess with a v12 760. :)

How ever, on the highway I'm sure the 760 just keeps going and going and going with a 6 liter v12. but 0-100 is all that matters on the streets here right?
 
Well, like many folks I've followed this thread for ages. I finally decided to share a story. Now my truck is stock, so it doesn't really smoke, it just kind of leaves a grey cloud of smog. :-laf This past Sunday morning we were on our way to church and I was already in a bad mood from some family issues :rolleyes: and a little old lady who decided 45 mph was her speed no matter what the signs said. I started off by getting in front of her when the road opened up, I slowed, then stomped on it and left her behind. I was feeling a little better, I guess. Then a short distance down the road I pulled to a traffic light, red of course, and while watching traffic around me, my wife said, "Be nice to the cycleists. " So I looked down the road past the set of flashing lights and saw two bicycles; one at the far right edge of the road, and the other riding beside her at the left of the lane. I mumbled to myself, and my kids yelled, "Smoke 'em!" :cool: As I approached, the guy in the leftmost part of my lane showed no sign of moving, or that he even cared that traffic might be anywhere in sight. I couldn't just pass as there was double yellow lines, and a car coming at us. Let me pause for a moment and say that I see bicycles on this stretch of two lane all the time, there is no room for them on the edge of the road, and they don't care. Sorry, back to the story... I pulled up about eight feet behind him and he still didn't notice me:mad: so I blasted the horn at him. That woke him up, so he peddled to get in front of the girl. As I passed, very close I might add, I mouthed "moron" as he decided he needed to flip me the bird. I let the smoke roll at that point, then slowed down once in front of him as I was seriously considering exiting and giving him a piece of my mind - did I mention I was on my way to church? :eek: Anyway there was another car coming up from behind, probably wondering what was happening, so I stomped on it, said, "Breathe this", and zipped off down the road. Many will probably scream, "Road Rage", and yes, I admit it, but I don't appologize for it in this case. Thanks for letting me vent.
 
This was the last body style 745i. The majority of them tho have the 4. 4 liter V8's. with only 320hp and they are a pig at over 4200 curb weight.

A google search tells me that v12's are only in the 760 series.

At almost 4900# curb weight and 438hp, that's not all that fast either for a 2006 model. low 14's if that in a 1/4. I wouldn't think twice to mess with a v12 760.

How ever, on the highway I'm sure the 760 just keeps going and going and going with a 6 liter v12. but 0-100 is all that matters on the streets here right?

Thanks for the Info! I'll start hunting for one to laugh at :-laf
 
not my truck, but this engine wasn't running right at all... 16v710 emd. 3800hp on a good day. wasn't making that today

<embed width="430" height="389" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://vid125. photobucket.com/player. swf?file=http://vid125. photobucket.com/albums/p70/nickleinonen/5521enginehuntingsmokey. flv"></embed>



[grabbed with phone, sorry about quality]
 
Wow... .



I can only imagine how bad that sounded being there. What the heck was wrong with that thing?



I think i would have been a bit nervous standing near that thing while it was running so badly. Sounded like it was about to explode... What took them so long to shut it down?



Corey
 
About that bicycle in Hell, that road was narrow, it was plain dangerous to smoke that guy, not too bright, I was cringeing while I was laughing, I did not smoke him, but did get some idiot golfer trying to play out of the ditch with his foot on the white line on the way home.

I don't care much for golfers.



I try to smoke carefully, because history does repeat itself. Remember the muscle car era? Don't see too many them around anymore, eh?



Keep in mind, we have no arguement for what we do. If something ends up in court...



"Why did you smoke that crippled lady and cause an 18 car pile up?"



"Because it was fun and her wheel chair chipped my paint. , your Honor. "

:--)



We stand alone out here, we have no friends, anywhere. Our behavior dictates what laws will be drawn up AGAINST us. (as if there aren't enough already)

Everything we do with our trucks is wrong in practically the entire worlds eyes.



Smoke wisely!!





Just for the newbs who didn't start from page one, 5 years ago, and for the old guys, who may have grown up a little since then.
 
Wow... .



I can only imagine how bad that sounded being there. What the heck was wrong with that thing?



I think i would have been a bit nervous standing near that thing while it was running so badly. Sounded like it was about to explode... What took them so long to shut it down?



Corey



they were trying to figure out why it was hunting. . i think it is an electrical problem, but i was not assigned to that unit to work on it so i didn't worry about it [i was changing out injection pumps]. . i was hoping they were going to start loading it again when it was dark, as the fire out the stack wasn't visible well [didn't even show on the clip]
 
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