Great Smoke Stories!

[C. Harlan]

I had someone not letting me in traffic the other day, trying to weasel his way in and cut me off... Not happening, at least not till he apologizes for being a prick... Anyways, I get my front end in front of his truck, to secure my place and let him know the pecking order. . BTW, my smarty only runs on level 9 while in my truck. . Anything less would be smokeless!!! So, finally traffic clears up, i dump the clutch in 2nd gear, and hammer it at the same time... I looked black, and he is trying to navigate through the clouds of raw unburned #2 I left for him! Well, we get on the highway, and he would not even look over at me. . I left him yet another big cloud to show my appreciation for letting me in first! hahaha



-Chris-

 

[C. Harlan]

I was sitting at a light yesterday, and these guys were going up, and tapping on people's windows, trying to pass some kind of crap out or panhandle or something... they almost made it to my truck when the light went green. . Well, one of them made it back to the island, and the other one was on my passenger side... I lugged 2nd gear, and gave him a heck of a smoke brake, which actually blacked out the intersection! hahaha, he didnt know whether to laugh or get mad... needless to say I think I made everyone around get a good laugh at some illegal panhandler's expense... Oh yeah, Smarty was on 7, and it's the new REVO tune... Truck runs like a total different animal!



-Chris-

 

[TWilkening]

Black Betty not on smoke detail anymore? At least the white one is keeping the tradition alive :-laf

 

[C. Harlan]

No No No... Black Betty is still alive and well!!! I actually have to take her and get her inspected next week... I just got Mighty Whitey inspected yesterday, and all was well... Black Betty is still alive and Rollin' Coals!!!!! I will post some pics sometime soon... I cleaned her up and took lots of stuff off... She still sweats horsepower, but is/was one of the original 400+HP trucks in the area... Now they're a dime a dozen...



-Chris-

 

[GDMRTN]

I have a '92 chevy 1/2 ton trucck with a 4bt p-pump. No aneroid, no plate and full-cut delivery valves. Truck looks like sh1t. Dirty, high miles and dents and dings. Headed home one nite and a lil car followed real close. Not appreciating this I decided he needed to back off. So, I grabbed high gear and laid the skinny pedal on the floor. Instant black!! No more lil chap under my tailgate! A couple miles later he was there again. Headlights disappearing under my tailgate. Hmmmm, Repeat!!! With a much longer cloud this time. His headlights went high beam, low beam, high, low, high low!! Oh, but I had ta laugh! Not a problem with him after that. I guess waste oil and old gas for fuel don't smell so good in the smoke form?!!!!

 

[JasonCzerak]

A very justified smoking. $#@#ing taxing drivers

So, out at the local cursing area. it's 1:15-ish. . On a road that has 2 lanes and room to PARK by the curb. Coming up on a club with maybe 50 folks out front between the sidewalk and the building (smoking area. )



As the group of cars approach, we have to start to merge over to the left lane. . Why you ask? Well, about 3 foot from the curb is a taxi... ... double parked next to that taxi is ANOTHER... . and standing on the DRIVERS DOOR of the second taxi, is a what looks like the drivers of the first taxi!!!!!!



Awesome, lets block the right lane, with no blinkers, waiting for an idiot to jump in a cab. good call buddy! lets block traffic!



So a few cars couldn't merge over, but I managed. full on 20mph smoking from end to end! and the wind it going towards the club! HA! (woops!).



And for good measure, I believe the guy standing in the middle of the freaking road was about 3 feet from my Air Horns, when I pressed the red button to release the air.



Yeah, taxi drivers are I D I O T S.

 

[JDiepstra]

Man, I love getting people with horns and smoke!

 

[GDMRTN]

Headed home at around 1 this morning. A car pulled out rite in front of me. I just locked er up. Tires holler and horn blowin. The dude eases over to the side of the road and I left him know his nonesense wasn't appreciated. Just got the vp44revo program and had some crazy settings and jus simply covered the car in stinky white/grey smoke. After I got around I realised it was a bmw. And he just sat there in the cloud, enjoying the rich scent and not knowing where to go. Next time I'm sure he'll look better before jumping out in front of someone.

 

[C. Harlan]

I didnt even notice I was even smoking too bad yesterday, but when I looked in my rear view, driving very conservatively, making minimal smoke, this lady behind me was swerving very erratically, and even driving on the shoulder to avoid my HAZE... so I though I would kick it up a few clicks... I always have my SMARTY on 9, so I just started fogging the highway. . I figured if she wanted to swerve for a mild haze, I would let her see a big black thundercloud! so this went on for about 15 miles, and I was laughing so hard, I almost had to stop and pee... she never made any efforts to come around me... I am sure I will get a driver appreciation certificate from the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality! LoL... .



-Chris-

 

[C. Harlan]

So... Today, I am going down the road, it's a city street, 4 lanes, with a turn lane in the middle... Minding my own business, on the way home from getting an MRI on my shoulder... I look back, and there is some guy wearing hospital scrubs, in an Audi TT; right up on my tailgate... I always have the smarty on 9, So I start rolling the smoke signals. . no worky... . he stays right there, and I get an open spot, so I hammer it in 5th... Easily walk away from him... not to mention a bad @ss cloud of smoke to go with it! Well, we get a few miles down the road, and he is doing everything possible to get around me and nothing seems to be working... well, we finally get side by side, and there he goes--- well till I hammer it, and there I go!!! he was about 2 car lengths ahead of me, and I walked right by him by about 3... . We get to a light, and he will not even look at me. . Oh well, guess he did not like the shade of black on his little sporty dud of a car! Oh well, it was all in good humor!



-Chris-

 

[JasonCzerak]

musta been the 180hp FWD model they look fast. . but aren't

 

[Sled Puller]

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[JDiepstra]

Just did this one tonight. One the way over to the girlfriends parents house after a dinner at Olive Garden. Some lady is tailgating me so close her front bumper must have been under my hitch ball. My girlfriend notices to and makes a comment. So, Juice to 5, coast a little slower, move more toward the center of the road to get my turndown properly lined up, then, BAM! Smoke everywhere. Lady backs up probably 75 feet. Shortly thereafter she turns into her subdivision or whatever. The next vehicle that pulls up behind me is guess who, the gf's parents. I go oh great I probably smoked out your parents too. So we get to their house and her dad says "nice smoke screen" and her mom asks "how can I get my van to do that?' Apparently this lady was tailgating my gf's mom so bad and swerving side to side behind her so much that she pulled over to let her pass. Little did she know she was rolling right up under my smoke signaler! The best part was when her mom asked how she could get her brand new minivan do do that.

 

[JasonCzerak]

The smokin isn't that much effective anymore. most people are eaither A: getting used to it. . or B:so close, it doesn't do any good.



I'm thinking a nice huge rear bumper. these new brakes stop fast. Get get a few large dents from rear endings, and s large bumper sticker. "Follow to close, I dare ya!"

 

[JasonCzerak]

there's a group of kids at the local weekly old car night that ask for the smoke. So leaving I just roll it and the parking lot/sidewalk were they are all standing just disappears . the old cars never get it, just the kids that park and watch across the street do.

 

[ENafziger]

I usually try to smoke responsibly, but sometimes people just ask for it!

Leaving for vacation last Wednesday night with the family, we're traveling down the highway at about 65 mph, loaded down and pulling 2 jet skis on the trailer (speed limit is 55). Some old toyota truck pulls out right in front of us, causing me to get on the brakes pretty hard. He never sped up or acknowledged what he did... instead, he holds it at 40 - 45 mph for several miles.

When the road opened up to 4 lanes, I moved over to the left to pass him. Instead of letting me around, he drives directly in the center of the two lanes so noone can get around. All of a sudden, dad yells at the same time I see him SLAMMING on his brakes. I swerve to the left and mash the brakes. He saw I was about to slam him, and he swerved right. He proceeds to roll down his window, throw a few hand gestures, and cuss me out... I'm not to fond of this, especially with my mom and little sister in the truck, not to mention I about went out of control with the trailer swerving.

Well, since his window was down anyway, and he swerved right, I kept the truck in 6th gear and laid the pedal down. With Smarty set on Wild TNT 9, TST on 3/1, MP-8 on 20%, and the big laggy SPS66 turbo, I filled his cab with smoke and completely fogged out the highway for the next mile until my turn off... :-laf

Sad to say, I saw him again yesterday (I was in the Festiva this time), and he was tailgating someone else, swerving all over the road, and then turned quick without signalling... Some people just never learn!

--Eric

 

[JasonCzerak]

And there are never enough cops to catch these idiots. you HAVE to take matters into your own hands at times. I typically call 911 when I see retardation like that. and file a report

 

[JDiepstra]

Smokin works good where I am from cause there just aren't many people around who can do it. And, JasonC, I have the 6" drop hitch in place at all times if needed...

 

[RLHannink]

Yesterday, climbing Austin summit out in NV, just takin my time doing the limit (NHP got me there a couple weeks ago), little Hybrid all of a sudden on my ***. So 5th gear, 45 mph, zero plate at ~7000' elev, full throttle, I swear I saw some of my smoke coming out of its little spaghetti noodle exhaust pipe... But he got revenge as he charged up his batteries on the way down the other side.

 

[JasonCzerak]

Yesterday, climbing Austin summit out in NV, just takin my time doing the limit (NHP got me there a couple weeks ago), little Hybrid all of a sudden on my ***. So 5th gear, 45 mph, zero plate at ~7000' elev, full throttle, I swear I saw some of my smoke coming out of its little spaghetti noodle exhaust pipe... But he got revenge as he charged up his batteries on the way down the other side.

I've been noticing these little hybird retards trying to squeeze a little extra MPG at the sake of my personal space and safety. They think it's ok to tail gate to catch a draft.



If they really thought about more then them selves and looked past their pointy little nose, they would realize that if the truck tailagating a vehicle with better areo dynamics, would, over all, do better for all, as I would save more fuel per mile then they would by not making my own wake in the wind.