Fart ??

[BIGDIG]

"PROMISE ME HORSE,YOU WON'T TELL ANYONE I FARTED"

 

[Camara]

The pics keep getting better & better!

 

[BIGDIG]

"OOPS,MAYBE NO ONE WILL SMELL IT"

 

[BIGDIG]

"I'LL JUST HIDE UP HERE AND WAFT ONE OUT"

 

[lschultz]

This could be another question for Doc. Why do we fart and enjoy it so much?Do you have a answer Doc?

 

[bmoeller]

I ripped probably my best one yet (loud and long) several yrs. ago. A friend of mine had never heard of the "pull my finger" trick. Surprised the both of us. :-laf Almost bad enough to peel wallpaper off the walls.



And yes, we're still friends.

 

[PUMPERDUDE]

Hey Matt. Everytime I see your name "Holeshot" I'll think of this stinking post... ... ... ... . Wife wonders what am I reading that could be so damn funny... .

 

[Stranger]

Gag yourself? How 'bout gagging...

the cat?



A few years ago, I was in the office at home, scanning photos or some such. We had just returned from I think it was Speedweek, 7 tracks in 7 days. Not the best for the diet. Add beer, booze and beens and you get an explosive combination.



Anyway, there I was sitting in my chair and one of the cats was sitting behind me on the chair. Well, I let one loose, a triple cheek flapper and DAM!, did it stink.



Shortly after, the cat behind me starts gagging and choking. He jumps off the chair, staggers into fresh air in the middle of the room and looks at me like "Dang, Dad! What the F-__ was that?

 

[HoleshotHolset]

PUMPERDUDE: I do what I can to help others get the most out of life. Life is too short to be stuck up and boring.



Stranger: Here's my analysis of how you choked the cat:



I think that you might have disloged some of your own fur in your hind quarters... and forcefully ejected it through the air and right into the grille of your feline friend.



For once the cat had a hairball - and it wasn't from his own fur.



:-laf



Bob (BIGDIG): The latest pic (blonde w/ blue bikini) is the best yet!



Matt - fartist/dieselhead for life!

 

[mcoleman]

The guy in the office down the hall just come over to see what I was laughing at. I still haven't been able to get over the urinal with a jake brake from page 3.

 

[JyRO]

Thankful for no pilot light....

I just got back from the bathroom here at work. Thank goodness no one else was in there. I thought I had some digestive maintenance to perform, you know the kind when you have that feeling that that you better get there and waste no time.



I backed her in and set down and (now this ain't no joke) this is what happened: buh - BOOOOOM! It was only gas. I swear to you guys, I felt lift ... or would that be thrust? Under the dump lid and between my legs just wasn't sufficient air passage, and the sudden air pressure increase below cause lift ... and I'm a big guy. Now not enough lift to knock me off the toilet, but I seriously felt it. It may have disloged a smaller woman from the toilet though. I'm thankful for 4 things ...



1. Nobody else was in there...

2. I didn't damage any plumbing (that I could tell)...

3. It didn't hurt...

4. That there wasn't a pilot light inside the bowl.



If there had been a pilot light, I believe I would've got launched out of the stall and wound up on my ear on the floor.



- JyRO

 

[lschultz]

I can relate to the gas I have went to the room before and felt like I was going to drop a big one before only to have gas come out. I had so much gas before it made the water in the commode splash up on my cheek's before And then sometimes when I have made my deposits(drops or whatever you want to call it)done clean up and I get the urge to do it again. We use to have this fellow on 2nd shift when he went you could not go in there for sometime till it cleared out.



I remember about 15 yrs ago or longer we were coming back from the coast and my sister in law had ate some ice cream. It was about 1 am and we were coming through some town and she got the urge to go(look out ) I stopped in front of some store and she ran behind it and there was considerable noise coming from back there We still kid her about it when I think about it.

 

[BIGDIG]

Ok Holeshot,hows this?I'll have to stop soon or the only thing they'll be wearing is a hat

 

[Wheaties]

JyRO,



You know how the men's and women's rooms are back to back, and the toilets share the 'wet wall'? Well those toilets are connected and nothing separates them except a couple of traps. You could let something like you just mentioned loose, and give one heck of a rise to a women sitting on the 'companion' toilet! No wonder they spend so much time in the bathroom; they're waiting for us to give them a free ride!



Bigdig, the pics are definitely improving. Barn chicks rock!



MTE

 

[BIGDIG]

 

[BIGDIG]

Thats all folks,I don't think I can post the ones wearing just hats..... or can I

 

[Doc Tinker]

When I was nine. .



It was my second year of youth camp, a week long get-a-way for the kids. Our group of about twenty knew each other from the year before, except for one guy who was new to the camping experience. Most of us had to take care that we didn't spend too much money at the canteen, since we didn't have a lot of cash. The new guy evidently had tons of money, though, because I don't think he ate anything in the mess hall, he was always at the canteen buying candy.



A couple days into camp, the new guy started stinking us out of the cabin. We started ragging on him about smelling so bad, which probably made the situation worse. Soon, we were not only bothered by the smell, but we had to endure frequent explosions at all hours of the day and night.



On the third night, just when I was dozing off, there was an unusually loud rip from the new guy's bunk. In a few moments, the new guy went running out the creaky storm door of the cabin, dragging his sleeping bag behind him. Right after that, I started smelling the worst odor that ever passed my nose, and it got stronger as the seconds passed. It didn't take long for twenty kids and the counselor to vacate that cabin, in the middle of the night.



The new kid spent the rest of the night in the infirmary and was sent home, for "medical reasons", in the morning. We found out later that the loud rip and odor was only a small part of what happened that night. Evidently his sleeping bag and clothes went into the dumpster.



Doc

 

[pathaymond]

The wifes Boss calls me the TURD MERCHANT!!Us converted Yankees can really let um rip must be the warmer climate.

Any more Pics

 

[BIGDIG]

 

[bmoeller]

Originally posted by illflem

Doc, Check here and Dr. Rex Breefs will answer everything you ever wanted to know about making good farts. Seems like there must be a discussion forum for everybody nowadays.

I've always heard that the only bad thing about farting is tiring to hold one in.



The first to speak is he that who squeeked, he that denied it supplied it

Blasting bin Laden :-laf http://www.farts.com/discussions/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=11;t=000017

So with wife number two here and her teenage son in the other room one night, we got into a farting contest.

That is the best part of the movie "The Nutty Professor" with Eddie Murphy!