Fart ??

[bmoeller]

Originally posted by Jeff H



My favorite is bombing the grocery store isles. Then run around the aother side of the isle. Then all of a sudden you here. Jesus #*%#@! smells like sombody I TRIED TO BY-PASS THE CUSSING FILTER there pants.

Heard if you do that in the produce isle, it's called CROP DUSTING.



QUOTE]Originally posted by Jeff H

Best way to amplify a fart. Sit on a nice hard wood chair. Sounds like an ol Jonny Popper with a strait pipe. [/QUOTE]



Firing one off on the can is better. Heard they used to call them Thunder Mugs!



BIGDIG- Where are you getting the great pics?

 

[HoleshotHolset]

Doc: I guess that kid from camp finally learned his lesson. I have let out a few that came out so hard/fast that I had to look in my drawers to make sure everything was still in place... .



Talk about 'Shock and Awe'... . :-laf



Bob/BIGDIG: These latest pics ROCK!



Matt

 

[slo-ryde]

A fart joke:



An elderly lady goes to see the doctor for a check up. While the doctor is examining her she boasts that her farts are totally silent and have no smell. "As a matter of fact", she states, "I've been farting in the waiting room and no one even knew it!"



After the doctor finishes the examination he gives her a prescription and asks to see her again in two weeks.



Two weeks later she's at the doctor's office. He asks how she's doing. "I don't understand what's wrong, my farts are still silent but they smell terrible now!". "Good", says the doctor, "Now that we have your sinus problem cleared up we'll work on your hearing. "

 

[Chris N5CWM]

Imagine being in an airplane at 35,000 feet. Nowhere to go! Had one brewing a while with that churning feeling so I knew it was gonna be a tearjerker. When they feel hot coming out expect the worst! :{ The other pilot had no choice but to put on his oxygen mask and glare at me. At least none of the flight attendants came up to the cockpit, that would have been kinda embarrasing!

Then there are the ones that must "amplify" their works of art.

One character I flew with had a habit of turning on the cockpit interphone and putting the microphone down 'thar and turning up the speaker.

 

[bmoeller]

Originally posted by Chris N5CWM



Then there are the ones that must "amplify" their works of art.

One character I flew with had a habit of turning on the cockpit interphone and putting the microphone down 'thar and turning up the speaker.

I occasionally hear a trucker do that or belch on the CB going down the road.

 

[lschultz]

I can relate to this too Sometimes at work when I got a good one coming I take the PA mic and stick it up there and let it go We keep the PA turned up loud loud so we can here it out on the floor around all the equipment. One of the fellows don't like it but I do it anyway

 

[C. Harlan]

This thread should get 5 stars!!!

It's always better to fart and waste, than burp and taste!! haha!!



BIGDIG- Where did you get those pictures?? Pretty girls, I must say! Post more!



For everyone else, What food makes you get gas?? Just thought I would stir the pot in this thread!



-Chris-

 

[bmoeller]

Beans! Any kind, doesn't matter. Some kinds of peanut butter.



Was watching a movie with my folks the other night. I was sitting at the end of the couch, and my mom lit one. She doesn't do that very often.

 

[BIGDIG]

 

[Wheaties]

I get the best, most fragrant farts from the Burger King onion rings. I can walk up to the counter and order the 'blue cloud special' and they know just what I want.



MTE

 

[Straight6Jeff]

yep, he can lay a blue cloud with those 'rings. Between Pigpen and Wheaties, teh shop has permanently stained walls

 

[HoleshotHolset]

Jeff: I do believe that you and I have been known to stink up the shop quite a few times.



Matt

 

[lschultz]

I just thought of this so I will share it with you fellows. Years ago I had a raw a** from I dunno what. I had put some powder on them dare cheeks cause that made it feel good. We were at a friend of mine house. We were setting on the floor in a circle,me and my buddy were drinking beer. I was setting on my arse with my legs up and feet's on da floor. I cuts one and how was I to know a puff of white powder was to come out. Wife just ignores me(which after about 30 yrs she still does). My friends wife was setting across the floor(guess she was looking at my body)when all of a sudden her eyes got as big as 50cent pieces and her mouth hit the floor and she asks me what I have been eating. I said why do you ask me that Betty and she said she just saw a white cloud exit my arse. Wife says thats nothing unusual. My buddy starts rolling on the floor

 

[nickleinonen]

oh boy... plums really do it for me

ohh man... i had lots of plums for dinner tonight cause they were just sitting there... was watching tv in the computer room [computer on east wall, tv on west wall] and my kid sister was watching something there. man, the stomach started churning real good and i just lifted a cheek and squeeked out a S. B. D... about 30 seconds later i hear caughing and she screems at me and flees the room faster than i have seen anyone run through the clutter in my room... i almost had to vacate the room myself as it was real bad... and i have been letting them out every few minutes... man, i love plums :-laf #ad

 

[HoleshotHolset]

A guy here at work just told me about this website.



Enjoy! :-laf



Matt

 

[bmoeller]

MAN, I wish my sound card worked!

 

[nascar]

White Castle cheeseburgers do it for me, also red beans & rice.



How many of you ever farted right at your dog's or cat's nose?

 

[nickleinonen]

Originally posted by HoleshotHolset

A guy here at work just told me about this website.



Enjoy! :-laf



Matt

:-laf :-laf #ad
:-laf :-laf

 

[jmeehan]

ROTFLMAO!



When I was going to college in Anchorage I'd ride to Haines with a classmate to catch the ferry home. It's about a 14 hour drive. One night before we left we drank a bunch of cheap beer. My classmate drove an old ford pickup and it was Feb I think, so it's to cold to roll the window down all the time. I had the worst farts I'd ever smelled, they were like sulfer. For the whole trip. Man it was great, though I felt bad for my friend at the time. The best part is I drank a bunch of beer on the ferry up to Haines two months later and repeated the performance for my friend on the drive back to Ancorage.

 

[C. Harlan]

#ad
... Y'all smell something???



-Chris-