Great Smoke Stories!

[MOtero]

got a few punk*****es the other day, I was waiting to make a right turn at an intersection and looked over and saw um. pants almost tripping them, white shirt bout 5 sizes too big, thinking they are all gangsta walking with a limp. way too good to pass up. I prolly would have done it anyway, but I saw them throwing **** at cars too, so 5x5 we go. rolled into it hard both of them had that what the hell is that look coming up onto them, but then it was an oh crap look when they realized they might not be able to breath in about a second. coulgnt have timed it better, big ol fat cloud engulfed the lil jackasses, as I passed I looked back and saw them running out of the cloud trying to dust themselvs off as I laughed till I got home, ahh good times. :-laf

 

[Ruckuz]

Thats the best story yet. usually its the Fords who think they have 1300 HP. Maybe he was using the metric system?:-laf

Hehe, Thanks.

It was pretty good, wish i had seen him again.

 

[BHowayeck]

I was waiting at an intersection by our local high school, and a beam of sunshine blasted into my eyes. Some high school punks standing in a group were laughing hysterically as they used a mirror to reflect the sun right into drivers' eyes. I instinctively gave them the finger and then kicked the box up to six. I couldn't even see the group of kids as I drove away with the last laugh!

 

[JasonCzerak]

I was waiting at an intersection by our local high school, and a beam of sunshine blasted into my eyes. Some high school punks standing in a group were laughing hysterically as they used a mirror to reflect the sun right into drivers' eyes. I instinctively gave them the finger and then kicked the box up to six. I couldn't even see the group of kids as I drove away with the last laugh!

Could that have been and excuse to run them over and though the Darwin theory advance that populations gene pool a little faster?

 

[C. Harlan]

Last week, I decided to take Black Betty to work. . I knew I would have fun somewhere along the commute, and sure enough, here's how it goes:



I was leaving work, and were on Loop 410, about to merge onto 35. Well, it goes from 2 lanes into 1, with concrete barriers on both sides. People always try to get up and cut in at the last minute. . Well, I was right behind a fellow lineman buddy of mine, and these 2 girls in a Mitsubishi Eclipse decide they are going to try to cut in. Not happening! Wait your fair turn in line like we did! Anyways, as they are trying to push me out of the way, being the smaller car, I begin to move over their way. . They were so close, their mirror almost kissed my brush guard on the front... I could hear them yelling and cussing at me, but the best part, is once it becomes one lane, it's still got concrete barriers on both sides. . As I smoke brake them, the smoke builds, goes up, then swirls as it comes over the top... Kind of cool to be honest. . Well, as we get onto 35, they try to cut all the way over and keep me from the left lane. . In the process, they almost T-bone some guy in a single cab Chevy 3/4 ton... I just laughed, because I am in the left lane now!! Well my buddy is in the right lane, they are in the middle... he is playing blocker, as we roll about 10 MPH... The driver has her window down, yelling at me, and telling me I am #1. . I just chuckle, and get a little bit ahead, and start smoke braking them... She never knew what hit her, but when I got 43 pounds of boost and smoke in her window, she backed off... Way off... I was laughing so hard, I almost peed in my pants! They got on my tailgate a little bit as we started to pick up speed, but I honestly think I burned about a quarter tank... It was well worth it! I went home laughing the whole way!!



-Chris-

 

[Ruckuz]

100 Pages!!!

Oo.



YEAH!!!!! 100 pages of Great Smoke Stories. l



Thanks Harlan, i think you might be a legend.

 

[JasonCzerak]

That's a pointless milestone.



Cuz with my settings on TDR, I'm at 38 pages



Maybe 1500 posts would be a good start for a party.

 

[C. Harlan]

Does your truck smoke with just the hot program Jason?? On my 04. 5, I am going to get my juice upped to the hot. . The 5x5 is good, but turbo is too quick and does not allow alot of smoke to build. . Just curious. . Thanks,



-Chris-

 

[MEby]

this happened a while ago.



I had just left work and was in a big hurry to get home that evening. It was a hot day, somewhere in the low 90's and quite humid. So I pulled out onto the road in front of our store, its four lanes thru town. As I pull up to the 2nd stop light, the left lane is empty while the right lane has a number of cars. I, being in a hurry pull into the left lane even though I need to turn right up the road about a city block from the light. While I am sitting at the light, I reach down and turn the chip on high. (This happened while we still had our f-350. ) I am reving the engine a little, getting ready to make sure I hit green before the car beside me. The car beside me..... oh darn there are two cute chicks in there... . I think they think I am being a showoff. You know I most certainly didnt mean too. So, the light hits green, me being thoughly embarressed by this time, gun the engine and roar down the street and look back just in time to see their laughing faces dissapear in the smoke. Oh no, their car windows were open..... I didnt mean to... . sorry... . can you forgive me..... I'll buy you dinner... I would love to... absolutely, where else can you find someone who laughs after having there car filled with smoke. :-laf After I got over the embarressment, I laughed all the way home. :-laf:--)

 

[JasonCzerak]

Does your truck smoke with just the hot program Jason?? On my 04. 5, I am going to get my juice upped to the hot. . The 5x5 is good, but turbo is too quick and does not allow alot of smoke to build. . Just curious. . Thanks,

-Chris-

It can make some smoke. I've been able to make a car disappear here and there but that stock turbo does love to spool quick. The trick is to feel her spool a little, back off and then hammer down.

TST or a smart (or both) will do the truck better tho. I'm pondering just getting the smarty now for the off idle smoking ability. My new commute has netted me reason to smoke once or twice a day for the past 3 weeks. My oil isn't going to like me if I don't get a bypass ASAP as well. .

The Juice is no 12 valve truck that's for sure.

 

[Devan Manis]

I was at mcdonalds one day and there were people behind me that I knew and they were revving me, so when I got my food I put it on 5X5 and nailed it. The wind just happened to be blowing in the right direction that the big cloud went right in the open drive up window. I saw the people behind me later that day and they told me it went in the window and that the lady was running to close it. But she didn't make it in time. haha

 

[BTowler]

That's not cool, that is the kind of thing that gives us a bad name!

 

[Drewhenry]

North Texas smoker!!

I used to live in the DFW area and had to commute I-20 daily. My truck is stock--no smoke however, there exists a serious smoking truck I used to see all the time. One morning I was in the process of schooling some moron in a powerjoke who tried to get around me and made a little smoke in the process when all of a sudden here comes a white regular cab (1st gen I think) 4wd with a Texas Trophy Hunters decal in the rear window. I was doing about 90 and the flowerpoke had long since given up. Whitey pulls ahead of me and all of a sudden I see the blacksh1t start to roll:--). I have been around steam locomotives using additives to make smoke for pictures that didn't make that much!!! I could not keep up with this guy and he completely fogged all the east bound lanes of I-20 and probably the west as well. I saw smokey several more times same area and watch him wipeout I-20 almost always infront of a ford. I always wondered how much fuel that took and what kind of mods this guy did to make that much glorious smoke.

So-Smokey if you are readin' this keep up the good work!

Andy

 

[PToombs]

Yup, gotta watch us 1st genners! :-laf

 

[JasonCzerak]

So I got me a smarty... Yeah, I got 1 and 1/2 smoke stories...

First off, this thing makes the hot juice looks like a birthday cake candle as far as smoke is concerned.

Anywho. So I'm messing around with stacking configurations. I had the juice on 0 and smarty on 9, ez on 1 TQ Wild. Testing the fact that the speed limiter actually moved (120mph at 3400 (32. 75" tires corrected in the ABS) and the motor does in fact rev to 3500... . It does. i-94 agrees.

So I get off at 81 and 94 here. To the non-locals, this is one of the many little Minneapolis Ghetto's. I proceed to a parking lot with a few open spaces so I can walk around the truck to make sure I didn't brake anything (look around, listen to the motor, no missing oil, water, ect, yada yada yada). All is good. Wild TQ management is a trip to attempt to drive smoothly!

So as I'm looking around I've noticed a few girls (3 of them, all ghetto fabulous), noticing I'm not a thug with a nice vehicle (weird, I must have a legit job... ) They are all eating something. Possibly from the McDonaldas that is also present near by.

So I get in and give the throttle a little blip. The blondie perks up and lets me know my truck is making some smoke (as if it's a bad thing... ). I said back " it's ok, it's a modified diesel, that's supposed to happen". Now keep in mind that I'm new to this massive amounts of smoke on command line this. The first blip didn't do so bad, it moved away. So I show off a little "See it's supposed to, check this out!!!" So I mat the peddle and a HUUUUGE cloud goooshes out and carries, 2 parking spots over, on the perfect angle, right into the 2 open doors!!!!! They all start freaking out, jumping outa the car. I apologize a few times, saying didn't think it would carry that way.

I drop it in gear and move out. Mean while, a group of guys on the way out were watching this thing. They were is TEARS! Could not even breath one of them. I roll by, "Now that was funny!".


Now for the half a story.

Twice. there were 2 retards, with no one behind them with their farking nose in the middle of the right lane, as if I'm going to stop for them so they can make their left turn.

Both times, I was able to merge in the left and both times I laid on the smoke control and engulfed a FedEx Van and a sedan. Both with windows down. Breath that you inconsiderate tard!

 

[Mokerz]

Had a good one in front of a mall the other week, my brother and our friend, (both army rangers just home from overseas) and I are out looking for some ping pong balls for some good ol fashion beer pong about to take place back home with the family, well the family in there 20's, anyway, we found the pong balls and we are walking out of the mall and some jerk in a misubishi eclipse with either a mean sounding wastegate or a fake one is reving his engine at us and giving us the get the hell out of my way before I run you over look while we are crossing in the crosswalk. We got across and he went off and parked his car. In the mean time we jump in the ol 97'... . When we went to leave, gues who was in the crosswalk? Yes, it was the same guy. Anyway, I motioned him across, he started walking and I just started tapping on the throttle, shaking the truck, making some smoke etc, etc. At the same time Ray is hanging out the window yelling something about "what now" "this thing would smoke your lil ... . import... . four banger" etc. Anyway, the guy looks over and recognizes us, gets this "oh crap" look on his face, looks away and scurry's across. The look on his face was priceless. We laughed the whole way home. :-laf

 

[GDMRTN]

The most fun I had was clouding a fedex guy. He was driving along in town an suddenly stopped. Sat there for a little, went a little further, stopped and sat there for longer. I was behind him, headed home and didn't need the holdup. I looked in his mirror an saw he was on the fone. Just sitting there with parking space a few vehicle length ahead. He eventually noticed the parking spot and took it. As I got beside him I hammered it. After passing him I realised his door was open and he got full benefit of my cloud! Maybe next time he'll decide to park before talking on his fone.

 

[icman95]

I have smoked one or two tailgaters, but my best one was by accident. I had just installed some new injectors that turned out to be a bit too big for my setup, but of course I had to learn the hard way. I was going down a local road at a slower speed and tried to accelerate back up to a normal one. I should have downshifted first to get the turbo going a bit more, but didn't. The minivan behind me dissappered and when it came through the cloud of blackness I could see it had turned on the windshield wipers to clear off the glass. Whoopsie! Sorry about that. Well... maybe not. It was kinda fun.

 

[C. Harlan]

Well for Post # 1500..... What the perfect smoking!

Today, we were on the way to go wakeboarding in New Braunfels, in Mighty Whitey, and my Malibu Ski boat in tow. . I was driving through a parking lot, and there was a BMW 740 on my left that was driving like an idiot, go figure. . We were getting ready to loop around to get into the drive thru line at Whataburger. . Mmmm!!! All of a sudden, the BMW comes to an abrupt stop, and I just continue my loop around to get into the drive thru line, and I see this idiot lady is now trying to beat me to the line rather than wait her turn... I mash on it, and she literally T-bones me! I come to a stop, MY TRUCK IN THE LINE AHEAD OF HER, and her front drivers side bumper about to touch my door... So she thinks she is going to get me to move?? I do not think so. . My buddy Logan was in the back seat, and rolled down the window to look at how close she was, when she rolled down her window and asked us if we were drunk. . Ok, that was totally random! So I guess she called the police to complain that she tried to cut in line and what not, but the funny thing was that she was calling my TX boat numbers in. . What good is that going to do?? haha, Well, she had to back up, and I got my place in line, ordered my burgers, and I just happened to notice that they were parked on the side of the drive thru lane with a few of them still sitting inside... :-laf :-laf I dialed up the juice to 5x5, and looped around after getting my burger, floored it, and blew a nice sized cloud all over their pretty little white sissy car... We were all laughing our @sses off, and I was tempted to go back around to do it again, but it was such a beautiful day, and we did not want to waste anymore time on morons. . BTW, the lake was beautiful, and so was the water! Nice and smooth!



Thanks to everyone for keeping this thread going on for now 1500 Posts!!!!! Keep on Smokin'!!!



-Chris-

 

[C. Harlan]

Well, it says 1499 on the forum count, but 1500 on the previous thread, so I will make it 1500 on the forum count...



Happy Smoking Everyone!!!!



-Chris-