Women

[Gary - K7GLD]

One un-asked question in all the above, is how much did SHE "change" for YOU? Why is it always assumed it's the GUY who "must change" to "prove" he is the worthy one?



OR, is it automatically assumed the females are perfect, and it's just us dumb male clods that need "changing" to reach the same plane of perfection as she has?



I have found it to be far easier to produce those little "extras" in a relationship when my partner is as spontaneous and attentive to my needs as she expects ME to be to HERS!



Otherwise, it's a relationship built upon a foundation of selfishness and false values...



Easy to say from my position, but from where I sit, she did you a favor, and you haven't lost much of real lasting value.



Sure doesn't make it hurt any less tho' - but be assured, the pain DOES go away!

 

[Cummins Pilot]

Well said Gary, and same to you Rhonda. I'm trying to figure out how much she changed. I'm not sure how much or if it was for better or worse. I know I changed for the better. I don't call any part of the relationship a waste. I have no regrets. What I call a waste is the advantage we have now of knowing what eachother wants + all that was learned in the 3. 5 years before this and not using it to our advantage. We know so much about eachother and such. Now she'll have to go find someone else and "train" them to her stadards I guess. But nothing I can do now, so on with life. Someone will appreciate what I can give them and love me more the better for it.



And the shotgun was a gift to her. She can keep it. She likes to shoot and have protection at home.

 

[Sageair]

Women marry men thinking they will change and they don't. Men marry women thinking they won't change and they do!

 

[AfterBurner]

Women marry men thinking they will change and they don't. Men marry women thinking they won't change and they do!

hehehehe :-laf :-laf :-laf

I hear ya!

 

[E7mack96]

Did she know that you wanted to marry her? Maybe she got tired of waiting for you to ask and decided to get out.

 

[CTomasino]

A older freind(61) of mine gave me advice his father gave him he said----



" Anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die, just isn't human"



Sorry about your girl but there is alot of fish it the sea. So start fish'n

 

[The patriot]

getting her own shotgun ect QUOTE]



My wife has never tried to change me. We've been together since high school, now married 17 years (I think). :-laf

She knows I may break wind, and she's OK with it.

She knows I dont live to do yardwork, and is comfortable with that.

She knows I dont mind cooking, but I DONT like cleaning up after myself, she accepts it. I cook good!

She knows I dont keep up the house after myself, and she dont mind it.

She knows I dont like getting underwear for Christmas, so she's happy to get me a gun.

I love her just the way she is, and she loves me the way I am.

Get another woman and dont look back!!! Oo.



Eric

 

[Gary - K7GLD]

I guess us guys need some sort of "Declaration of Independence"...



If a 21 year old guy meets and becomes involved with a gal, she needs to realize that whatever attracted her to the guy in the first place is what he is - sure, the first few months of close association will undoubtedly reveal deeper insights into each others characters, but to hope, assume or attempt to manipulate relatively significant changes in the other partner is not only foolish, it's unfair and dishonest!



The same goes for guys - sure, we all tend to first be attracted to superficial outward appearance - a pretty face, nice smile or a body to die for - but it doesn't take 3. 5 years or an Einstein to pretty quickly determine the deeper characteristics of a partner - then either accept them as a non-issue, or quickly move on.



Reconstruction projects rarely meet with lasting success!



Besides - who WANTS a "fixer upper" anyway?

 

[ladyjaine]

Tyler,



She didn't know what she had. A guy that cares for her by taking care of the big things is worth a heck of a lot more than a greeting card. After 3. 5 years, I'd rather have a shotgun than a shotgun tall stack of greeting cards!



After umpty-ump years of dating, getting greeting cards, cut flowers, stuffed animals, and who knows what all 'romantic demonstrations of love and caring' they've all ended up in the trash. Give me a man I can call at 2:00 a. m. Sunday morning with a flat tire, 150 miles from my house with a truck full of camping equipment who will show up, change the tire and then follow me home to make sure I'm really OK. I'll take part time chef, part time fixit guy, part time cleaning help, part time heavy lifter, part time listener, and full time lover and companion, over an entire Hallmark store.



If you are demanding it, it isn't love, for love must be given freely. If you were trying to show her you loved her by giving her gifts and she couldn't see the love in your gifts, then she was the one in need of growth. It isn't the gift, it's why the gift was given that's important. When someone thinks enough of me to give me a gift, I'm flattered, appreciative, thankful, blah, blah, blah. I say thank you. I try to use the gift if I can. If I can't use it or don't like, want, need it, that doesn't mean the giver needs to change. The value to me is in the giving. It is not in the gift.



Jean

 

[Ol'TrailDog]

who sits around all day with no plans for the future, and gives her cliche gifts that don't really mean anything

Hey!I'll bet you've been talking to my wife again!



Now I'm REALLY ******. I just sent off a Birthday hallmark to my wife today. Geeze it looks like I wasted a couple of bucks, darn. :{



Grouse, gumble, peradventure thats why she is in Bozeman and I'm in Moran? :-laf



PS: Bob that is great! I mean like check it out - Us guys are sitting here commiserating with Cummins Pilot, offering sound advice, and a few "buck ups". The next thing you know the women folk show up and its like Ophrah psycho-analysis time.



What would life be like with out them? Got to appreciate the little darlings :-laf

 

[Cummins Pilot]

Gary, I reached that level about a year into the relationship. I knew how she was and accepted her personality. And to tell you the truth I wouldn't change anything in her if I could have. I wanted her for who she was. I guess it didn't go both ways. Someday she will figure it out and maybe look back and kick herself for this. But she needs to go through it to get there.



Jean, what you described is the type of person I am. If your a friend of mine I'm there to help. I'll drive many miles to help. I'll take care of anything if need be, its the way I was raised. I wish for someone with the kind of thinking and maturity level you seem to have. Problem is that girls my age (23) are very few & far between with a mind like yours.



E7, yes she knew, we had talked about getting married many times. I'm still working on my pilot ratings and shes in grad school for 2 more years. I would move anything to get married but it wasn't in the cards. Saying it wasn't convienent isn't a good thing to say but thats how it was for her. Situations weren't good for it considering that she may need to leave state and possibly me too. But I would make the sacrafice of some things to gain what I thought was the better deal.



Anyways I'm doing good again. I realized i don't need her, I want her but I don't need anyone but myself. But I'm once again looking for someone to share my life with. I'll find her. Sometime when I least expect I bet.

 

[EBottema]

OK, heres the age old question. What goes on in a womens head? 3. 5 years of dating and it ends about a month ago cause she has "issues" in her head.

How old are you? I know how you feel but you will get over it. Good luck!



Women are very odd. They don't make sense most of the time and thats why I don't think they are good in power positions. Sometimes they are only good for one thing if you know what I mean...

 

[AfterBurner]

Women are very odd. They don't make sense most of the time and thats why I don't think they are good in power positions. Sometimes they are only good for one thing if you know what I mean...

:-laf :-laf :-laf

 

[Not Guilty]

[Women are very odd. They don't make sense most of the time and thats why I don't think they are good in power positions. Sometimes they are only good for one thing if you know what I mean... [/QUOTE]



Nope, I don't know what you mean, maybe you can explain!

 

[RT66DOC]

[Women are very odd. They don't make sense most of the time and thats why I don't think they are good in power positions. Sometimes they are only good for one thing if you know what I mean...

Nope, I don't know what you mean, maybe you can explain![/QUOTE]



C'mon NotGuilty - That was the seasoned reason of youth speaking. I've seen many cases of this.

Diagnosis: Testosterone poisoning.

Symptoms: Semi-coma, delusional thinking, cerebral avascular necrosis.

Treatment: None known.

Prognosis: Hopeless

 

[Not Guilty]

Sorry, must have been a blonde moment.

 

[JyRO]

A guy that cares for her by taking care of the big things is worth a heck of a lot more than a greeting card. After 3. 5 years, I'd rather have a shotgun than a shotgun tall stack of greeting cards!

Give me a man I can call at 2:00 a. m. Sunday morning with a flat tire, 150 miles from my house with a truck full of camping equipment who will show up, change the tire and then follow me home to make sure I'm really OK. I'll take part time chef, part time fixit guy, part time cleaning help, part time heavy lifter, part time listener, and full time lover and companion, over an entire Hallmark store.

^ That's me!



ladyjaine - Will you marry me?





- JyRO

 

[JL penner]

Here's one for you guys to figure out for me:



I met her when I was 16, we dated for a few months and split up. She got married and had a kid, I got married. A few years later I move back to my hometown and meet up with her again. She's divorced and I'm divorced. We hit it off again and are engaged less than a year later. I brought her up from the imperial valley and got her a job training horses at my dads ranch. After 3 years of being together we start having problems, I can't do a damn thing right. I bend over backwards trying to change to make her happy. I pay all the bills, We trade in my 99 dakota and buy her an 03 CTD. She also has an 01 couger. All while I'm driving her old 92 F250. Well she pushes and pushes so I start to stand up for myself. I tell her that I'm not going to pay for her truck anymore (she would never let me drive it) and I go out and buy my current truck. The very next weekend I went out of town for a horse show. My cousin flys in from Texas and she cheats on me with him. I had to hear it from him a week later. I tried to get her back, but she wouldn't let him go. This happened in March. They were engaged in April, and married in August. They now live in my old house right down the street from me.

The kicker to all of this is that she has a 6 year old daughter that I helped raise for almost 4 years.

She was able to just completely turn me off. She wrote off everything that we had and everything that we did for each other. SOME women are just plain evil!!!!

Not all of them are though, I'm dating someone now that likes me for who I am and doesn't feel the need to change anything about me.



Thanks for letting me get this off my chest!!

 

[AfterBurner]

JL penner,

Ebottema already answered your question:

"Women are very odd"

 

[snowracer69]

The same goes for guys - sure, we all tend to first be attracted to superficial outward appearance - a pretty face, nice smile or a body to die for - but it doesn't take 3. 5 years or an Einstein to pretty quickly determine the deeper characteristics of a partner - then either accept them as a non-issue, or quickly move on.

To a T!!!



Dated a girl for 2. 5 years, and had a falling out. I was interested in a sorta-friend of hers so when I got back home over x-mas I started seeing her (was it bad that they lived across the road from each other, so instead of turning left down one driveway, I just had to turn right down the other?) Anyway, this made ex-g/f extremely angry/jealous... I held out w/ the other one for 2 months before realizing that our conversations consisted of me saying "I did this" and her saying "oh ya?" over and over again... . to say she was as smart as a 2x4 would be a compliment... but hot... jeezus! Oo. Anywho, took me 2 months to realize that and get out. Got back together with the ex and realized what I'd lost before... great companionship, fun together, love like never before... then a month ago we had a falling out again. Sooo, I'm back to stage 1... looking. I still love the ex, but she's got to figure things out for herself, and if I don't fit in that picture, then that's how it needs to be. It's not fair to either person to hold on when one doesn't want to be there.



And yes, I'm still young, dumb and full of *ahem*, so outward appearances are VERY important at first... call me nuts, but there is no reason to spend my time with something that's not nice to look at at this stage in my life... I'm years away from marriage, inner beauty can wait. Oh, I had thought that the ex was the one to marry too, but was gonna wait for her to get farther through school (she's got 7 years left, minimum) before making sure it was what we both wanted. She will make a great mother and wife someday, for somebody... easy to see that after nearly 4 years...