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Fart ??
- Thread starter lschultz
- Start Date
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A Crappy christmas Dog??? 
Got a real live one, our pit bull puppy literally clears the room just about every day. And in the truck, between home and the shop. It sure is COLD driving with the windows down! Peeeeeee Yoooooooooo ! Is it safe to give a dog Beano ?
Got a real live one, our pit bull puppy literally clears the room just about every day. And in the truck, between home and the shop. It sure is COLD driving with the windows down! Peeeeeee Yoooooooooo ! Is it safe to give a dog Beano ?Is it safe to let an un-harnessed dog ride in the truck with you behind the wheel? :-laf Sorry - I had to!
That Beano stuff doesn't work... . I tried it. It cut down on the frequency, but the intensity was still very impressive.
Matt
That Beano stuff doesn't work... . I tried it. It cut down on the frequency, but the intensity was still very impressive.
Matt
Those little gag-store stink bombs were a weekly occurrence in Jr. High.....
Matt
Matt
All laughed out...
So now I have a couple stories.
Back when playing high school football, when I was a freshman. After a football game Rossville vs. Ringgold (us being Ringgold). When I was a freshman the senior team went 0 - 10. When I was a senior we went 9 - 2 or 9 - 3, something like that. Anyway, after the Rossville game my freshman year, we were back in this old nasty locker room that had its own built in stench. I felt the pressure rising, and using my grandmother's advice, "more room outside than in... " I eased a greasey one out. You know, the kind that actually leaves your rectum warm to almost hot, even with no sound. I'll never forget the shock of what happened next. The room was kind of quiet due to the seniors moping around trying to act like another loss was really bothering them. Then a sophomore buddy of mine next to me yells as loud as he could, "G***AMNIT JYRO ... YOU'RE ROTTEN!!!" My best friend next to me was crying laughing so hard and swears to this day he could see it moving up the wall - like you see a mirage in the desert, you know with the wavy/blurry lines. He swears that's what he saw moving up the wall. It smelt like the foulest rotten eggs you can imagine, it even nauseated me.
Then there was this buddy who I worked with at RPS while I was going through college. I really like this guy, he's one of my best buds. I feel bad for him cause his dad died just as he & I became friends. His dad died of intestinal cancer. Well, this guy (Wolf), always had the nastiest most powerful farts you ever smelt. Every single fart was at maximum stankyness. Of course he enjoyed them, but in the back of his mind he always wondered if his stankyness talent came from some intestinal disorder, like his dad. Anyway, one time he and I were walking out of work, across the yard to the gaurd shack. About a 100 yard walk, and he was telling me that he had a good'en coming on, and that he wanted to save it for the gaurd. It was about 20° outside and the gaurdshack was about 10' X 10', with a little heater on full blast about knee height. The building didn't hold heat so the heater was always screaming. I went first cause I didn't want to get caught in the cross-fire. Wolf came out holding a laugh so hard his face was red and he was about to blow snot bubbles. We got about 30' from the gaurd shack and the gaurd stepped out staring us down cussing. We both couldn't help but laugh our guts out and talked about it every day (practically) for the rest of the time I worked there.
One last thing I used to do, was get on my hands and knees, and ease my butt up to whoever's bedroom door (preferably with only underwear on). I'd do it slowly so they wouldn't hear me lean on the door. Then rip a big one on the door. Occasionally I could make the door rattle on the door jam - that was awesome - and met with some angry bedroom occupants.
- JyRO
So now I have a couple stories.
Back when playing high school football, when I was a freshman. After a football game Rossville vs. Ringgold (us being Ringgold). When I was a freshman the senior team went 0 - 10. When I was a senior we went 9 - 2 or 9 - 3, something like that. Anyway, after the Rossville game my freshman year, we were back in this old nasty locker room that had its own built in stench. I felt the pressure rising, and using my grandmother's advice, "more room outside than in... " I eased a greasey one out. You know, the kind that actually leaves your rectum warm to almost hot, even with no sound. I'll never forget the shock of what happened next. The room was kind of quiet due to the seniors moping around trying to act like another loss was really bothering them. Then a sophomore buddy of mine next to me yells as loud as he could, "G***AMNIT JYRO ... YOU'RE ROTTEN!!!" My best friend next to me was crying laughing so hard and swears to this day he could see it moving up the wall - like you see a mirage in the desert, you know with the wavy/blurry lines. He swears that's what he saw moving up the wall. It smelt like the foulest rotten eggs you can imagine, it even nauseated me.
Then there was this buddy who I worked with at RPS while I was going through college. I really like this guy, he's one of my best buds. I feel bad for him cause his dad died just as he & I became friends. His dad died of intestinal cancer. Well, this guy (Wolf), always had the nastiest most powerful farts you ever smelt. Every single fart was at maximum stankyness. Of course he enjoyed them, but in the back of his mind he always wondered if his stankyness talent came from some intestinal disorder, like his dad. Anyway, one time he and I were walking out of work, across the yard to the gaurd shack. About a 100 yard walk, and he was telling me that he had a good'en coming on, and that he wanted to save it for the gaurd. It was about 20° outside and the gaurdshack was about 10' X 10', with a little heater on full blast about knee height. The building didn't hold heat so the heater was always screaming. I went first cause I didn't want to get caught in the cross-fire. Wolf came out holding a laugh so hard his face was red and he was about to blow snot bubbles. We got about 30' from the gaurd shack and the gaurd stepped out staring us down cussing. We both couldn't help but laugh our guts out and talked about it every day (practically) for the rest of the time I worked there.
One last thing I used to do, was get on my hands and knees, and ease my butt up to whoever's bedroom door (preferably with only underwear on). I'd do it slowly so they wouldn't hear me lean on the door. Then rip a big one on the door. Occasionally I could make the door rattle on the door jam - that was awesome - and met with some angry bedroom occupants.
- JyRO
:-laf:{:-laf
Holy crap!
ROTFLMFAO!!!
Some guy walking past my office just gave me an odd look for laughing out loud! :-laf
The 'hit-`n-run' that JyRO wrote about hit home for me. This one time (NOT at band camp!)... . I woke up my brother... . AND the dog with an underwear ripper I let loose by opening up the door just a crack and fitting my cooresponding crack into it and letting the BOMB drop... . My brother was furious... . I could not stop laughing.
Of course, the dog was good for a few laughs too. He'd fart so big/loud as he would go to sit down that he'd scare himself and run away!!
Diet, body composition, lifestyle, and heredity all play a part. I come from a long line of 'fartists'.
Matt
P. S. How do you like the "Crappy X-Mas Dog"? The guys at the Fire Dept. loved it. One guy said: "Well, I can already do what this toy does... . now I just have to learn how to sing!" :-laf
ROTFLMFAO!!!
Some guy walking past my office just gave me an odd look for laughing out loud! :-laf
The 'hit-`n-run' that JyRO wrote about hit home for me. This one time (NOT at band camp!)... . I woke up my brother... . AND the dog with an underwear ripper I let loose by opening up the door just a crack and fitting my cooresponding crack into it and letting the BOMB drop... . My brother was furious... . I could not stop laughing.
Of course, the dog was good for a few laughs too. He'd fart so big/loud as he would go to sit down that he'd scare himself and run away!!
Diet, body composition, lifestyle, and heredity all play a part. I come from a long line of 'fartists'.
Matt
P. S. How do you like the "Crappy X-Mas Dog"? The guys at the Fire Dept. loved it. One guy said: "Well, I can already do what this toy does... . now I just have to learn how to sing!" :-laf
Ever wonder how the Guinness (NOT the beer... . which I have determined to be one of my biggest weaknesses!! ) Book of World records never has any cool gross stuff in it?
Like... . World's most potent fart, World's loudest fart, etc.
Let's not exclude belches... . they can be quite impressive as well. :-laf
Matt - bathroom humor for life! -- It works for Hollywood... ...
) Book of World records never has any cool gross stuff in it?Like... . World's most potent fart, World's loudest fart, etc.
Let's not exclude belches... . they can be quite impressive as well. :-laf
Matt - bathroom humor for life! -- It works for Hollywood... ...
Last year at Boy Scout Summer Camp my youngest son was voted "Best Burper" out of over 100 kids. And one of the other scouts on a friday morning fell asleep sitting on the can.
"hey anybody seen Richie?"
"last I saw him he was headed for the port a potty. "
Thata where they found him an hour later with his pants around his ankles. :--)
"hey anybody seen Richie?"
"last I saw him he was headed for the port a potty. "
Thata where they found him an hour later with his pants around his ankles. :--)
If they had that sort of contest when I was a kid... I would have been a strong contender!
Matt
Matt
To The Top...
Per request of nickleinonen I could not let this thread die.
Anyone had a good one lately?
I have been in the habit of competing with fellow "stall mates".
If they let out a report - you can let one rip bigger/better... . heck, you might even impress them a little! :-laf
Matt
Per request of nickleinonen I could not let this thread die.
Anyone had a good one lately?
I have been in the habit of competing with fellow "stall mates".
If they let out a report - you can let one rip bigger/better... . heck, you might even impress them a little! :-laf
Matt
One cheeck sneak out.....
LMFAO!
Can we measure that one's intensity by the distance from the epicenter? :-laf
Matt
LMFAO!
Can we measure that one's intensity by the distance from the epicenter? :-laf
Matt
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Back Issues
Subscription Status
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The Perfect Collection Vol. II
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What Makes Us Tick?
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