Great Smoke Stories!

[BErmoyan]

Guys I don't know what happened, but lately the truck is smoking A LOT. :--) I think the filter might be dirty, but no worse than it has been. I don't mess with the low boost fueling when I drive on 5, and it is still a ridiculous amount. We did just put 285/70/17 tires, but I doubt thats it. It's cool, but its overkill, and a waste of money to boot. I'm stumped.

 

[JasonCzerak]

So I`m coming home from work the other day. I`m driving down a residential side street, going slow (about 25-30 mph). About 1/4 mile or so down the road I see these three people walking, headed in my direction. Turns out one of them is walking pretty much in the center of the road. As I get closer the guy in the middle of the road gives me this smirk and starts waving at me. I`m getting closer (and also slowing down even more). This guy decides he wants to play pedestrian VS. 3ton truck chicken, and he was`nt moving. Well I sure as heck could`nt run him over BUT a little dose of good old #2 perfume seemed to fit the bill nicely. I wonder if his friends (who WERE walking on the shoulder) appreciated the soot job as much as I did...







Oh BTW he gave me a nice firm single digit salute... HA HA HA!!

Simular happened to me, but intentions were different. I wasn't driving my truck. I had the AudiTT at the time. Winter ish, ghetto of Detroit, just bajaing the snowy roads. 4 big black guys in the middle of a city street stopped crossing at the cross walk to block the road infront of me, I was a little over a block away. First intention was to slow down. Then common sence kicked in, drop 2 gears and started to approach much higer speeds. There was no stop sign at this intersetion they were "blocking" either...



Needless to say when I gabbed the next gear, they scattered. . I was doing close to 70 when I slowed back down..... One Car jacking advoided

 

[LOtero]

Driving home from work the other day, and of couurse traffic is always packed. but some people think its going to make the guy in front of me not to mention about 50 others in front of him go faster if they ride my but. so smoking it is, moved to the proper position and gave her all I had. once? nope lady still stupid. maybe twice will get her to back off? yup that did it. even got her to wave her hand in front of her face, Oo. it probly diddnt help she had all 4 windows and sun roof open. just for fun I got her once more. :-laf

 

[LOtero]

it probly diddnt help she had all 4 windows and sun roof open. just for fun I got her once more. :-laf

same thing, but it was some guys thinking they were the coolest thing since sliced bread in their bright yellow H3, just asking for it! i could see that waste of money fill up with smoke

 

[DMcPherson]

oh yeah I love the hummer people.

and when I sit in traffic its ususlly one big cloud around me :-laf

 

[JasonCzerak]

Widdle ricer car with a rice boy

So, I'm going home. east (south) on 55. stop and go stop and go. And all I hear is the most annoying noise, whiiiiine, whiiiine, wiiiiine. We all moved 10 feet I think. Over and over and over. I'm thinking, how many clutches does this guy go though a year?



So as I get close to the whiiiiiine, it's a white, good condition civic with a huge fart can on the back. Minus the Fart can, it would be descent little car ya know? Some of these things sound descent, some, but this one was on top of the I'm going to strangle you level of annoying.



So traffic treats me right. :-laf At one light I end up just in front of him by a car, as we roll I run 1st, 2nd, and leave my self enough room to run 3rd WOT! I shoot a stream of smoke right as his car and I think I had my tail pipe at his window at 3000rpm! All I could see a black fog around him and his white little car.



So ricer boy roll up past me at the next light telling me " You #1 white boy. you #1!!! Couldn't even speak english for the most part. but understood how to cuss at me.



So as traffic allows me to roll by him again I ask: "Do you wanna run for pink slips? Becuase the first thing I do to that POS is dismantale it to ensure that it is never driven again!"



And I get the same song and dance with the finger. So I smoke him again for good measure and proceed on my way home.



And that's my story.

 

[LOtero]

ha ha nice!

 

[Dual EE]

I was in a merge lane waiting for traffic to clear so I could continue home. A hitch hiker on the side held up his thumb and index finger telling me he only needed to go a little ways. For one, I don't p/up hitch hikers and two if you only have a little ways to go-start walking. Well I politely shook my head no and continued to wait to merge as I was next. Traffic cleared I started merging. This SOB hitch hiker gives me the finger and yells f-u. Now he does this while standing about 20' in the direction I am going. So I just smiled at him as I planted my right foot on the carpet. As I passed by him his finger was still telling me I was #1, but his eyes were on my tail pipe that was pouring out black smoke. His eyes were big and I think he knew he was in a little trouble. The cloud engulfed his sorry butt and he was not seen again.

 

[CLiberty]

CLASSIC DualEE!!!!

 

[Sled Puller]

Smokers made CNN this morning.



An investigator in Colorado Springs, AZ, has been chasing a "prophet of God" and polygamist. The town people are not friendly towards him.



He said he has been harrassed, and the Diesels smoke him out at stop signs.



Just then the cameraman films a Diesel pick up with a trailer belching smoke.



There, you kids can all pat yourselves on the back now, your moronic behavior has made the national news, and was associated with a religious quack!!ROTFLMAO!!!



Smoke Wisely, Grasshopper.

 

[WDixon27]

i already did my good deed by not smoking out the little old ladys and goobers protesting The Da Vinci Code at one of the local theaters, i almost did it and decided not to at the last moment :-laf

There, you kids can all pat yourselves on the back now, your moronic behavior has made the national news, and was associated with a religious quack!!ROTFLMAO!!!



Smoke Wisely, Grasshopper.

 

[biggy238]

So I went to the "Rod Run" in Pigeon Forge Tn. a few weeks ago... . Got to watch Keating Machine make a few passes at the strip... Nice... .



I'm on my way back into PF from Gatlingburg... . IF any of you are familiar... It's all just a giant tourist playground... We get caught in traffic coming out of the national forest in between Gburg and PF. It's two lane highway and then goes to 3 lanes at the first intersection in town. . We sit for 2. 5 hours at a walking pace in the woods...

FINALLY we get to town. One of the TN members of KYDTR was beside me at this point so we're talking it up from vehicle to vehicle... Somehow this Xterra gets in front of me... Fine. . not like we're getting anywhere...

We creep about another half mile... we're in the middle lane of 3 because the sides are full of people... . People line the sides of the roads to watch the vehicle in traffic... They're ALL diesel fans on nights like this. .



This little redneck dude walks up to my window: "WoooooldCheeew be eentristed in sum leequid inuh Bot-tle"... Intoxication was everywhere... . About this time... Greasy Creek (dtr member) lights the tires a car ahead of me... . Crowd goes nuts...

I look at the little dirty dude holding the botle in my windown and tell him "No, I think I can get it started on my Own" with a grin... He sprays the tires anyway... . I turn them all the way up through thrid gear at which point the rear of the truck starts working its way toward a ricer on the right of me... . So I had to quit... . When the tire noise stops I can Hear the crowd going Ape-**** over the smoke show we just put on... Nice...



So we woirk up another hundred yards or so... traffic starts to break up some... . And the Xterra stops... . no reason... just stops... Directly the lane ahead of us open up for about a 1/4 mile... . A beautiful thing to anyone who'd been in traffic for 3 hours. .



and still we stop... And then this tottering dumbass comes from the side of the road... walks up to the Xterra, opens the doors... falls over into the cab as the drivers tries to help him... and we're off again... I'm Livid at this point because we've lost like a mile we could have been down the road...





We get down the road a bit and and said Xterra cattycorners itself infront of a honda in the right lane, blocking me, blocking the other lane... . I just start cursing... .

My GF didn't know what was going on until I just barely crept by this mooron-niissan and stopped... with the pipe about 10 feet away from their ride... I just rolled the pedal to the floor, three thick, black, noxious times... . filled that POS... . People on the side of the road were cheering, cars behind us were cheering and blowing horns giving it the Oh Hell Yeah...



IT was instantaneous stress relief... We drove home with grins after that...

Yes, one sheer act of idiosey inturn for another... . Oh well. . It was sweet.



Lol Since then it seems that EVERY automotive event is cracking down on Soot... A buddy of mine got busted last night at Somernites Cruise in Somerset Ky for excessive soot and improper equipment in a WAL-MART parking Lot... a parking lot... and te cops were still getting people... he survived it with just a warning though. .

 

[LOtero]

i just got back home from my softball game at which i completely filled the cab of a buddies grand cherokee with smoke as he was loading his equipment through the back gate, it was great the girlfriend was cracking up! well as i was headed home i noticed all the high school kids are out and acting stupid this time of year, and this one in a new thunderbird was driving like an absolute idiot so i catch him for a lil action, sure enough i just kicked his butt! it was funny. turns out it was two 16 year old kids, they rolled down the window when they caught up and said "whoa is that thing supercharged?!?!" too bad they were on the non smoking side... fun anyway.

 

[biggy238]

TURBO-supercharged

 

[Greenleaf]

No Smoking @ Work!

Got a bus driver..... Good.



He was about to exit the bus to refuel after a run and I pulled up along side the entrance door w/wife's truck (side exit exhaust). He thought I was going to roll pass side window down and he stopped in the door way of said bus.



I pulled up a tad more to position the pipe @ door and gave her a power brake. He was last seen running back towards the rear of said bus :-laf

 

[WDixon27]

my best one at work was a nasty burnout directly in the main roll up door of the shop with this pig while the new guy was working on his car after work 3rd gear pulling both tires, gotta love diesel torque

Got a bus driver..... Good.



He was about to exit the bus to refuel after a run and I pulled up along side the entrance door w/wife's truck (side exit exhaust). He thought I was going to roll pass side window down and he stopped in the door way of said bus.



I pulled up a tad more to position the pipe @ door and gave her a power brake. He was last seen running back towards the rear of said bus :-laf

 

[JasonCzerak]

So out for a drive with the GF. City reidential streets. I make my left to go on a busier road and had to goose the throttle a little to get going obviously.



So I'm at this traffic light and I hear the sound of something attempting to do a poor *** break stand. I look back and it's a 1500 chubby. 2 retards in there laughing thinking they are cool. I think he was able to turn one wheel around twice. That's how bad it was.



I then hear out my window "That thing gota Hemi!". Un-lunky for them, there was a car infront of me, other wise, I would of demonstrated what a 3 grear Cummins powered burnout is like.



So I did the next best thing, lots of low boost fueling!, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, all got long large batches of the black stuff This retarted chubby driver even was gullable enough to not only wave his hand infront of the window, he turned the freaking whippers on!. THE WHIPERS!!!!, BTW, it's sunny and 84 out today.



To bad it wasn't a 2 lane road, I haven't had chance to say in a while "No, it's not a Hemi dumbass, it's a Cummins". But I think he got the point initially.

 

[benhall]

I finally got one. Oo.



I was driving here in Panama City this evening and a couple of cars back was a car weaving through the lanes trying to go past everyone. He came up to the back of my truck and I started the rolling road block until he got close enough to me, that I could only see his face. I slowed the truck down a little bit and rolled on the go pedal and the look was almost priceless, but all I think it did was **** him off. :-laf Oh well, it kept him off of my bumper for a bit.



Ben

 

[C. Harlan]

Sorry for my long period of time with no posting to my own thread.. I got one today!

Well, I was in 5:00 traffic, stuck behind a cute King Ranch shortbed 6 leaker, put putting in the fast lane... When you want to get home to have a beer, it really ticks you off... So, we get to the turnaround, and he takes it as well. . I take the left lane, notice a little haze, and he tries to take off... :-laf Cute. . Is that all you have?? I mat it, flog both lanes, as well as shoulders, pass by him, then turn in front of him. . He gets all mad, starts riding my @ss, so I decide to do the opposite of smoke him out--- Since I already proved my point that he and his truck had no balls... I did 20 mph down the parkway. . I look in the rear view mirror, and see his wife or chica as I call them these days shooting me the finger... To me, that's a wife or GF who gets her BF's @ss kicked for him... I stopped to make friendly conversation with them, but he sped off with a mad look on his face. . Maybe he will be more understanding now that he knows a 6 cylinder can OWN a V8 6 leaker...



-Chris-

 

[AfterBurner]

not smoke but...Ram

a friend of mine has a 03 quad cab 4x4 dually. He was at a stop light in Denver around midnight and had some punks pull up next to him in a little car. The guy on the passenger side, starts talkin trash to my friend :-{} , who, in no kind way returns the words. they move on to the next light and the guy continues to run his trap. Not one to take stuff off of others, my friend flips his lit cigarrate into the guys eye (great shot if you ask me) as the light goes green the car drifts behind the Dodge and my friend starts hearing the popping of a pistol . He does some evasive manuevering... and then the car driver made his mistake. He decided to pass the dodge and take some shots through the windshield . My buddy lets 'em gain some distance than hits them (or Ram's them i guess would be more apropriate) at just over 60 mph. Needless to say the car did some pretty cool spinning manuevers all the way to it's final resting place in the ditch. They never did get their shots off into the windshield and only managed to land one bullet in the tailgate. I guess he doesn't really need any of those sticker bullet holes now :-laf