Great Smoke Stories!

[JasonCzerak]

A snowy smoke.

6 inches of snow on the east side of towen, about 2 on the west. relativly fast drive in this morning. But the roads are slushy/wet on 169.



So on my drive into work this morning I'm getting on 169 northing from I394. Just got merged in and in the left lane. Yep, Brand new A6 4. 2 liter AWD Audi jumps over. and is PUTZING. I'm in 5th waiting to get above 35mph. so I flash the brights.



Next thing I know, I get the finger, and this A6 jumps on it! I'm like ROCK! Good thing I was crusing around in level 3. WOT I go and just a bit of tire slip in 4x4. (nitto's at 50PSI). I sayed dead even with him.



Here we come up on a typical minnesota group of cars in the left lane (5 or 6 cars). And one car in the right lane. The car in the right lane is pacing the first car in the left... . SOME TIMES YOU JUST WANNA PUSH THE MORONS OFF THE ROAD!. GET OVER TO THE RIGHT YOU SHEEP!



Well, EVENTUALLY, like a bunch of semitruck drivers at 4am, you'll get around the moron on the right if you follow the moron on the left. Mr Audi A6 didn't reliaize this, twice. So he falls in behind me and level 5 in 6th-ish he got it good! I get the finger. he gets it again.



Minnesota groupd of sheep #3, I see up front that I can cut of the motorn on the left if I run up on the right. So I do.



Heh, Mr A6 thinking he should of gotten the RS6 in stead, just to out run a diesel truck.

 

[MCummings]

is there really any way to get a good cloud from an 04 with a stock CTD and an auto?

Uhm, No.



But with some mods,, yes.



Buy a Bully Dog triple Dog with and download the Crazy Larry software and it will smoke.



Of course, now, you won't be any better than those guys that don't service their vehicles,, but that's another topic.



Merrick

 

[Dkuhlman]

Old Smoke Story – LONG!



Years ago, a buddy called and said he was broke down at the auto parts store. He was driving his wife’s diesel rabbit, chasing parts for his diesel rabbit (yes, yes, I know!) when the clutch cable broke. I told him to pick up a clutch cable while he was there and drive it home and we’d fix it. Drive it home??? Needless to say, after I began to describe putting it in gear and starting it, shifting clutchless, yadda, yadda, yadda…



“I’ll be right down…”



I put him in my Porsche and gave him some basic instruction, and after several sideways trips around the parking lot, he got the basic hang of it. (Whatta expect from a guy who drives diesel rabbits?)



His wife’s car was an original German built VW with over 260,000 miles on it. I started it up and noticed it needed to clean out some with a fair amount of smoke at first. Fortunately, it was a weekend evening and traffic was light. We pulled out of the parking lot and didn’t hit “too” many red lights. Plus the road out of town was level. Then, as we come up on the freeway onramp, luck gives out and I have to stop. It’s also up hill and I missed getting it started the first couple of tries.



Meantime, this character in a pale yellow sports car had jumped in behind us, cutting my buddy off in my car. Every time I would start forward on the starter, he’d run up on my bumper! Oh well, nothing to do but throw the old girl in neutral and clean her out a bit.



You guessed it! The rabbit spewed smoke, excess diesel fuel, engine oil, etc. all over the pretty yellow car that was now wedged in between me and my buddy. The smoke was horrendous and filled the intersection. Cleaned out, I shut it down, stuck it back in first and we were on our way. My buddy had to go around the guy who was now standing there looking at the mess all over the front of his car.



I’ll bet he didn’t tailgate any more VWs afterwards!

 

[C. Harlan]

Well, I BOMB'd The BAD of BAD vehicles!

A friend of mine just bought a Scotty Camper- A 1996 3500 HD 12 Valve/ 47RH... Called and told me it was a "Dog, and will not even hold 70 going up a hill!" So, I took it upon myself, ordered an exhaust, intake, and made a 100 plate, and I will just say WOW! That thing is stout now, for the circumstances. . It's heavy, runs a little slow, till the TC Locks up. . When that thing goes into lockup, I probably gain another 10 lbs boost. . Poor little 35 is squealing!! hahaha, anyways, I got gauges on the way. He is not using it till I get it "Pimped out" as he says. . So I got in it yesterday, after loosening the AFC Spring as much as possible, and it smokes at the beginning, but cleans up real quick. . I already warned him about the transmission, and so he is in the looking for a beefed up transmission. . Anyways, just thoought I would post the newest addition to our smoke stories...



-Chris-

 

[LOtero]

well, FINALLY got my truck back from it being down from romping in the mud and creating the need to replace my powersteering pump and finding the two "ears" had broken off the vacuum pump (check yours) where the powersteering pump bolts up and having to replace that too... ANYWAY the girlfriend and i were all happy cruising around in "smokey" and of course had to blow excessive amounts of smoke all over gangsters with their thump thump music and good ol "I HATE BUSH" liberals and others to make up for lost time. on the way across the AF base a 2nd gen with gauges and a fifth wheel had pulled over just ahead to wait for a partner so after passed i blew a big black cloud just ahead of him, with a thumbs up as a payment oh man its nice to have my truck back!! Oo.

 

[coyote75]

My friends dad is a salesman at the GMC dealership in our town. He's always ribbing me about my cummins. It is back and forth everytime i see him. So one day I'm going by there lot and he's out doing his usual salesman stuff. He waves me down giving me crap about my truck trying to sell me one of his GMC's. As i Im sitting there here comes a car flying up on me. So in second gear and a little go pedal i take off. I look back in time to see a big black cloud covering the lot and a lot of looks from the salesman and mechanics :-laf . I kind of felt bad but

 

[Boondocker]

I'm a dedicated non-smoker, but sometimes it has to be done. So I was commuting home last night and some weeny in clapped out Celica was driving like an a-hole. He made several unsuccessful attempts to cut me off. Finally, I'm in the left lane, following too close in heavy traffic. He pulls in behind me, half a car length off my rear bumper, hanging out to the right side like he's trying to see around me.



Well, let's just say, for a few seconds there, he didn't see nuthin, but he did back off. When traffic thinned, I moved to the center lane so he could do the Loser Flyby. I love it when they do that

 

[PKirby]

A couple of days ago I was driving to work with very little traffic on the road. There was a compact car way up ahead and after a few miles I caught up with him and moved to the left lane to pass. I was probably 5mph faster than him but when I got beside him he started speeding up. Every time I would speed up, he would also. I floored it and when I looked in the rear view mirror I could barely see his car. He backed way off after that.

 

[JasonCzerak]

A couple of days ago I was driving to work with very little traffic on the road. There was a compact car way up ahead and after a few miles I caught up with him and moved to the left lane to pass. I was probably 5mph faster than him but when I got beside him he started speeding up. Every time I would speed up, he would also. I floored it and when I looked in the rear view mirror I could barely see his car. He backed way off after that.

I HATE it when morons match your speed for no reason right next to you! Atleast fall in behind 10 cars back and then match the speed. .



First road trip from Michigan to Tennessee to Michigan I had was fun. I was stock tho, no smoking yet, low mileage so I wasn't pushing things hard either. So instead of smoking out the morons tail gateing you that are matching your speed at 3am at 75mph, I start tossing fast food cups 1/2 full of stuff at the cars behind me... that works well.

 

[WDixon27]

i herd a guy talking about his truck had a hole in the shift boot he would drop a golf ball through for tailgaters, said it would get all excited under the back of the truck before exiting

I start tossing fast food cups 1/2 full of stuff at the cars behind me... that works well.

 

[JasonCzerak]

i herd a guy talking about his truck had a hole in the shift boot he would drop a golf ball through for tailgaters, said it would get all excited under the back of the truck before exiting

LOL, perfect!



All you guys with bikes know that typical drivers don't see you, even with straight piped bikes! I forgot what they were called,but they are bals with spikes on them. He would have them tapped under the fender and drop them by hand infront of the tires of moronic drivers that don't turn their heads before they chagne lanes or turn.

 

[C. Harlan]

Yesterday, as I was leaving for work, I was on the parkway that leads from our neighborhood up to highway 281... it is 2 lanes both ways, and when it gets up to the highway, it is still 2 lanes, and most people around here are too naive to realize we have our own get on lane... anyways, there was some idiot in a nissan titan who decided he had to be important, and take the left lane. . I wasnt going to let this happen... wait your turn, bud! I pull out, jump into left lane on 281, and begin to accelerate normally. . I notice Mr. wannabe truck is on my butt, and so I begin to row gears mixed with smoke... When I get to the light a few miles down the road, he pulls up, nodding his head. . I ease up, nodding my head in a 'yes' motion, and he then proceeds to roll his windows down to tell me my truck stinks, waving his nose... BAD IDEA MORON!! I rolled down my window and asked him what was wrong. . He said it smoked too much, which I then explained that the byproduct of making large amounts of horsepower with a compression ignition motor by using excessive amounts of fuel was large deposits of visible carbon and soot, also known as smoke-- I think that left him in the dust. . Well, whaddya know?? Light goes green, his window is down, my lane starts going first, exhaust is pointing RIGHT at him!!! I lug it to about 400 RPM, floor it, then push in the clutch and shoot the most beautiful soot cloud right into his truck!!! I got a thumbs up from a guy in a Kenworth whom Nissan boy had cut off as well. . It was funny, and I am ready to tangle up with him again!!



-Chris-

 

[Tomeygun]

""He said it smoked too much, which I then explained that the byproduct of making large amounts of horsepower with a compression ignition motor by using excessive amounts of fuel was large deposits of visible carbon and soot, also known as smoke""



-Chris-

haha, thats funny, I'll have to remember that when some smart-butt comes asking about a smokey truck...



Does your truck smoke? nope, just large deposits of visible carbon!

 

[Greenleaf]

Yea that IS good. I'll have to remember that one.



BTW..... anyone read what Gail Banks has to say about a smoking diesel? (it sure ain't good)I suppose HE knows his stuff... ... ... . don't he?



Anyway. I love to see (and smell) the black emissions coming forth from my stacks. Gives me that warm fuzzy feeln' ya know. A good black puff smells just like a coal fired steam locomotive Oo. I can close my eyes and picture myself next to one.

 

[IC Smoke]

anyone read what Gail Banks has to say about a smoking diesel?

whatd he say? in a magazine, tv show... . ?



Ian

 

[Greenleaf]

It was an add no less, for one of his product kits. Look in the last magazine issue of the TDR. What he says is probably true but we all know that smoke is cool no matter what his reputation.

 

[biggy238]

I look at smoke like this... . It's unburnt fuel (Which is what Banks is critisizing)

More times than not though, in a big power application, it just means that you're fueling to the edge of what your induction system can handle, and then cranking that last 10 hp or so out of it. There's nothing wrong with that in my opinion. He just thinks it was a selling point for his products.





Mine got some more smoke this weekend AFC got tweeked a little more.

 

[WDixon27]

me too, get that turbo kicked in the butt and moving

Mine got some more smoke this weekend AFC got tweeked a little more.

 

[biggy238]

nope, just large deposits of visible carbon!

Heavy diesel particulate... ALL IN YOUR FACE HHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! *kackling*

 

[Kissfan113]

I used to stand on the water tank of shays 2 or 11 and just take in the coal smoke, it is a truely beautiful thing, the smell of steam, steam cylinder oil and burned coal, I love my smokin diesel, I love sootin people that **** me off, I smoked out a stroker dually the other day, he rode up tight on my rear, so i gave him a present before i walked away, too bad there was a WVDNR officer behind him who also got caught in the cloud, he wasn't as impressed as i was, Greenleaf, we still on to meet in cass this summer