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Great Smoke Stories!
- Thread starter C. Harlan
- Start Date
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the other afternoon i was driving minding my own business when i notice this red/maroon saturn hugging my bumper. i think nothing of it untill i catch a red light and all i can see is the roof of this awful looking car. the light turns green, and this car is still hugging me like my old lady. i take off pretty quick like (stupid car is keeping up) i go from 3rd to 5th and mash that smoke petal. couldnt see behind me for about 1/2 a mile. her tailgating and me smoking proceeded for about 3 miles down the road. at the next intersection she pulls beside my truck (me going straight, she is turning left) gives me a dirty look while on a cell phone. and as she drives off her license plate reads "ms blonde. " at that moment i thought "i guess blondes are fun afterall.
I'm sitting at a red in a right turn only lane behind this chick in a Jeep Liberty... There's NOBODY impeding her flow, so I give her a courtesy beep of the horn... nothing... so I give her the quick double beep to try to stir her from her slumber... nothing... so I start LAYING on the horn... nothing... I lay on the horn and just don't let up.
light goes green, and she decides she's gonna be cute and sit there for a second just to **** me off even more. I was about to drive around her on the curb, but she goes.
I guess she thought she was just gonna haul ass and not have to deal with me, but my truck is just a hair quicker than a Liberty
I got in front of her, put it in 5th at 40mph, and just rugged it...
Forrest
light goes green, and she decides she's gonna be cute and sit there for a second just to **** me off even more. I was about to drive around her on the curb, but she goes.
I guess she thought she was just gonna haul ass and not have to deal with me, but my truck is just a hair quicker than a Liberty
I got in front of her, put it in 5th at 40mph, and just rugged it...
Forrest
Got one last night. On my way home from work. It's been a long day and it's all traffic. As far as you can see, bumper to bumper. We're running 50-55 which is pretty good for rush hour. I always watch my mirrors. Here comes this woman weaving in and out of traffic ticking people off. I watched 3 people give her the one finger salute! So I continue to watch as she gets up behind me. She gets nice and close. All I can see is the roof, which has an open sun roof and I notied as she was weaving that all 4 windows were down. Excellent! 
She of course can't see around my dually so she starts weaving side to side in the lane. She weaves left, I let off... she almost hits me. She weaves right, I stand on it! The trucker next to me grabs his CB and says "Give that B!TCH what she deserves!" Since I'm almost ready to rearend the car infront of me, I back out of it. As the smoke clears she's still right on my bumper and to the right of the truck. Her white car has a grey tinge to the right side of the bumper. This time I put my foot on the brake and let it fly! I procede to do this for about 1/4 mile when my EGT's got higher than I'd like to see. I look back, the front of her car is grey and she's giving me the ole one finger. I get passed the semi and she screams up to the car I was following. I just laugh as the semi gets nice and close to me and we both pass that car. She got off at he next exit and I stayed in the right lane. I had 4 people give me the Thumbs Up! The trucker was laughin the whole time. I never thought people would be so happy to witness a Smoke out!
Josh
She of course can't see around my dually so she starts weaving side to side in the lane. She weaves left, I let off... she almost hits me. She weaves right, I stand on it! The trucker next to me grabs his CB and says "Give that B!TCH what she deserves!" Since I'm almost ready to rearend the car infront of me, I back out of it. As the smoke clears she's still right on my bumper and to the right of the truck. Her white car has a grey tinge to the right side of the bumper. This time I put my foot on the brake and let it fly! I procede to do this for about 1/4 mile when my EGT's got higher than I'd like to see. I look back, the front of her car is grey and she's giving me the ole one finger. I get passed the semi and she screams up to the car I was following. I just laugh as the semi gets nice and close to me and we both pass that car. She got off at he next exit and I stayed in the right lane. I had 4 people give me the Thumbs Up! The trucker was laughin the whole time. I never thought people would be so happy to witness a Smoke out!Josh
A few days ago I was driving in town. A bunch of teenagers on pedel bikes where weaving traffic in front of me making them stop or swerve. I can see this happen for a few blocks as I am comming up on them. But before I get there they cut to the right side. So just before I get to them I drop spool then lug it. I couldn't see them after I passed. The truck next to me had two guys in it just busting up.
Other possibilities
You know, this thread makes me wonder about other ways to make life miserable for drivers who really deserve it. I mean, my truck isn't bombed enough to make much smoke. However, I could always carry a smoke-maker like planes do in air shows.
Then too, I could take the bed off and turn my truck into a dump truck filled with open buckets of roofing nails. I'll bet that'd really get another driver's attention.
But I could also carry a load of firewood for the hardcore driver who is really deserving of undivided attention. That way the jerk who rides my back bumper could get a real good view of the bed tilting and the logs tumbling out. This actually happened once (only it was an accident) and the other car was totalled.
Yessir, there are all kinds of possibilities here. Kinda makes a man wish he hadn't grown up. On the other hand, he could always unsubscribe from this thread and get on with life.
You know, this thread makes me wonder about other ways to make life miserable for drivers who really deserve it. I mean, my truck isn't bombed enough to make much smoke. However, I could always carry a smoke-maker like planes do in air shows.
Then too, I could take the bed off and turn my truck into a dump truck filled with open buckets of roofing nails. I'll bet that'd really get another driver's attention.
But I could also carry a load of firewood for the hardcore driver who is really deserving of undivided attention. That way the jerk who rides my back bumper could get a real good view of the bed tilting and the logs tumbling out. This actually happened once (only it was an accident) and the other car was totalled.
Yessir, there are all kinds of possibilities here. Kinda makes a man wish he hadn't grown up. On the other hand, he could always unsubscribe from this thread and get on with life.
I got some little kiddos the other night!
Sunday night, I had done a promotion for one of my jobs, and was on my way home... I happened to get cut off by a Camaro SS, who cut in front of me then took off the same exit. . I figured what the hell, lets run him and see what he's got, or in this case, don't got! he takes the right lane, and I ease up on him. When he saw me coming, it was on! I laid into it, literally standing up in my seat for that extra ½" of gas pedal travel, and actually began to pass him!!! Low and behold I made it in front of him, and reclaimed my lane! As I moved in front of him, he began to flash his fog lights, but I kept on truckin! I garuntee his ears were ringing, as his windows were rolled down! ouch! Oh well, Black Betty-1; SS-0
I was on my way home from the bar Wednesday Night, where I had met a few friends and hung out. we were going down a 4 lane road, and there was alot of cars in the left lane, where one was holding up the whole pack. As soon as I got the chance I jumped into the right lane and mashed on it. . Well, the guy in front of me in a new F150 tried to do the same thing, but I came around him too quick, and he got stuck behind me, after almost swerving into me. . he proceeds to tailgate me, when I let him have it, blacking out his headlights in the 2 AM darkness! we pull up to a light, and he pulls up on my passenger side, with the window down. . he rolls up, waves, I nod my head, and when the light turns green, I dumped the biggest, darkest, nastiest, raw cloud of #2 in his cab! I got the best laugh of the week watching him wave the smoke out of his truck!!
Black Betty-1; F-150-0
Sorry I have not posted on here lately, but been working 2 jobs, one for the City, and the other for U. S. Smokeless Tobacco Co; doing Copenhagen/Skoal Promotions... . It's a fun job, getting paid to go to concerts, as I get to work the Tim McGraw concert tonight!
-Chris-
Sunday night, I had done a promotion for one of my jobs, and was on my way home... I happened to get cut off by a Camaro SS, who cut in front of me then took off the same exit. . I figured what the hell, lets run him and see what he's got, or in this case, don't got! he takes the right lane, and I ease up on him. When he saw me coming, it was on! I laid into it, literally standing up in my seat for that extra ½" of gas pedal travel, and actually began to pass him!!! Low and behold I made it in front of him, and reclaimed my lane! As I moved in front of him, he began to flash his fog lights, but I kept on truckin! I garuntee his ears were ringing, as his windows were rolled down! ouch! Oh well, Black Betty-1; SS-0
I was on my way home from the bar Wednesday Night, where I had met a few friends and hung out. we were going down a 4 lane road, and there was alot of cars in the left lane, where one was holding up the whole pack. As soon as I got the chance I jumped into the right lane and mashed on it. . Well, the guy in front of me in a new F150 tried to do the same thing, but I came around him too quick, and he got stuck behind me, after almost swerving into me. . he proceeds to tailgate me, when I let him have it, blacking out his headlights in the 2 AM darkness! we pull up to a light, and he pulls up on my passenger side, with the window down. . he rolls up, waves, I nod my head, and when the light turns green, I dumped the biggest, darkest, nastiest, raw cloud of #2 in his cab! I got the best laugh of the week watching him wave the smoke out of his truck!!
Black Betty-1; F-150-0
Sorry I have not posted on here lately, but been working 2 jobs, one for the City, and the other for U. S. Smokeless Tobacco Co; doing Copenhagen/Skoal Promotions... . It's a fun job, getting paid to go to concerts, as I get to work the Tim McGraw concert tonight!
-Chris-
On my way home from work today at the last light heading out of the town I work in I take off easy just with a good haze and this woman in a durango is right on my bumpter, all could see was about half the hood so I poor the coal to it and cover her and a few other cars with smoke and I ran it up to 75 with no problems a few mins later the woman is beside with her arm haning out the window showing me im #1 with the wrong finger, not a good idea, her window was down and I pumped that durango full of smoke!! I didnt see her at all the rest of the way home.
Chris?! Going to a Toby Keith Concert?! Now there's a surprise.
I got a Dodge Ram 1500 a couple weeks ago. I made a left turn off a road. A road where the cross traffic had a stop sign. Weeeellll, it seems that this fella wanted to give my truck a rectal exam. This guy was so close that I couldn't see the top of his hood. All I could see was dashboard and windshield. So I let him complete his exam, with a cloud the likes of which would make Chris proud. He disappeared in the cloud. Completely! After I got about a half a block in front of him, he finally pushed through the smoke and left me with some space.
I don't like to smoke people, but c'mon. STAY OFF MY ARSE!!!
I got a Dodge Ram 1500 a couple weeks ago. I made a left turn off a road. A road where the cross traffic had a stop sign. Weeeellll, it seems that this fella wanted to give my truck a rectal exam. This guy was so close that I couldn't see the top of his hood. All I could see was dashboard and windshield. So I let him complete his exam, with a cloud the likes of which would make Chris proud. He disappeared in the cloud. Completely! After I got about a half a block in front of him, he finally pushed through the smoke and left me with some space.
I don't like to smoke people, but c'mon. STAY OFF MY ARSE!!!
he means that he smoked a 1500, not that he purchased a 1500.
Glad to hep out and interpret Southerneze. I know, I know , taint easy but somebody gotta do it. :-laf
edit: My mistake, I knew Chris was around TX (that's tahas), so I assumed... . Anyway, I also do Norsky, Ja.
PS: Spent the weekend at a three-day bluegrass festival at Grand Targhee, WY. Whew!!! Nothing beats traditional bluegrass, appalachian, and celtic music (except gospel, good gospel, traditional folk gospel). C&W bluegrass is puke... ..... imho
Glad to hep out and interpret Southerneze. I know, I know , taint easy but somebody gotta do it. :-laf
edit: My mistake, I knew Chris was around TX (that's tahas), so I assumed... . Anyway, I also do Norsky, Ja.
PS: Spent the weekend at a three-day bluegrass festival at Grand Targhee, WY. Whew!!! Nothing beats traditional bluegrass, appalachian, and celtic music (except gospel, good gospel, traditional folk gospel). C&W bluegrass is puke... ..... imho
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ahh, makes sense... my bad...
I've smoked a few of those annyoing bicyclists that think they own the road... . two or three wide, 10 mph... . flew past them, a few almost went off the road...
normally its not so bad, but there is a BIKE PATH not 20 feet off the road... .
they must enjoy aggrovating drivers, even though they have thier own "road" to ride on
I've smoked a few of those annyoing bicyclists that think they own the road... . two or three wide, 10 mph... . flew past them, a few almost went off the road...
normally its not so bad, but there is a BIKE PATH not 20 feet off the road... .
they must enjoy aggrovating drivers, even though they have thier own "road" to ride on
Harley Guy
Yesterday on my way out of town running in the hammer lane some *$#(*# started to change lanes, as soon as he got in front of me and nailed the brakes and whiped the left turn signal on, no room to stop I check the mirror and plant the smoke petal, covering both lanes, and I was off after the smoke had cleared I notice the guy on the harely behind me who had the same idea..... 10 or so miles down the road I pull in for fuel and low and behold the guy on the harely pulls in behind me, he took a few mins before walking over to me and im expecting some few choice words to be exchanged, I was rather surprised to hear "Man what have you done to that thing" after a nice little chat He has a CTD and had been debating wether or not to do anything to it, needless to say he's sold on tweaking his..... Its amazing what a lot of smoke will do for someone.
Yesterday on my way out of town running in the hammer lane some *$#(*# started to change lanes, as soon as he got in front of me and nailed the brakes and whiped the left turn signal on, no room to stop I check the mirror and plant the smoke petal, covering both lanes, and I was off after the smoke had cleared I notice the guy on the harely behind me who had the same idea..... 10 or so miles down the road I pull in for fuel and low and behold the guy on the harely pulls in behind me, he took a few mins before walking over to me and im expecting some few choice words to be exchanged, I was rather surprised to hear "Man what have you done to that thing" after a nice little chat He has a CTD and had been debating wether or not to do anything to it, needless to say he's sold on tweaking his..... Its amazing what a lot of smoke will do for someone.
I have 275's / EZ combo, dont really have the smoke I want yet. maybe hx40 and EDM's Mach 2's
Well I got one in my new (to me) truck tonight. I was leaving the g/f's house around 11:20 pm. She lives on a rural hwy that thins down from 4-lanes to 2-lanes about 2 or 3 miles up the road from her house.
So I back out of her driveway, noticing a car coming up the road but have plenty of time. I get 'er up to the speed limit +5 (45mph) and think nothing else of the car. Well We're about to top a rise where it will shortly be slimming down into 2 lanes. With both windows down I hear the other car (sounded like a Honda, dunno definately rice! ) gouge it as he had been trailing shortly beind me on the inside lane. It took me about 1/2 a second to think..... "hmm... haven't been challenged in the new club cab with just injectors, slide oem plate, & gsk... ..... nah..... your not coming around me!" :-laf
Keep in mind I'm cruising @ 45mph with yet 5th gear still to go. So I MASH it and off we go! Oo. Poor fool never gained a inch on me all the way up to 80!
Ok time to cool it down... ... . headlights coming at me... . PLEASE don't be a county! :{ (heavily protrolled hwy)... ... ahh ok it wasn't one..... BACK TO THE FLOOR SHE GOES! :-laf
Anyways you think this guy would be a gracious loser after being beaten by a 7000lbs truck! but NO! he decided's he's gonna play nascar and DRAFT MY ARSE! #@$%! So I maintain the speed limit on this hwy and the guy doesn't even make a move to pass me! He's so freak'n close behind me that looking in either side mirror or my rearview I CANNOT tell there is a car behind me!
This guy is freak'n NUTS... ... . If a deer ran out in front of me (also HIGHLY likely on this hwy) he would be kissing my rear diff cover! So we're coming down the hwy and a car slows down to turn right... ... I slow down drop to 4th and the little twirp doesn't even consider passing just stays glued to my rear... ... . ok you little twirp here you go 5th gear less than 1500 RPM brake applied moderately and fuel pedal to the floor!! Oo. Oo. Nice dose of unburnt #2 all across his windshield (oh yeah I moved over and centered my tailpipe!)... ... he backed off for a second but a mile down the road he was back on my butt. A few miles down we entered a speed zone (it had went from 40 to 55 but goes back to 45 here)... ... I slow down drop to 4th and am easying through the area... ... the road shifts as there is a middle turning lane under two caution lights overhanging the intersection..... I see his turn signal come on barely as he scoots over just a bit to my left and I think ok good bye present... ... hit 5th gear and deposited some more #2 on his hood with a "your #1 gesture" out the window as I kept going and he turned!
Man I want more HP and more SMOKE! but I've got priorites straight on this truck... . not gonna sacrifice this clutch until I can afford a Dual Disk!
So I back out of her driveway, noticing a car coming up the road but have plenty of time. I get 'er up to the speed limit +5 (45mph) and think nothing else of the car. Well We're about to top a rise where it will shortly be slimming down into 2 lanes. With both windows down I hear the other car (sounded like a Honda, dunno definately rice!
) gouge it as he had been trailing shortly beind me on the inside lane. It took me about 1/2 a second to think..... "hmm... haven't been challenged in the new club cab with just injectors, slide oem plate, & gsk... ..... nah..... your not coming around me!" :-lafKeep in mind I'm cruising @ 45mph with yet 5th gear still to go. So I MASH it and off we go! Oo. Poor fool never gained a inch on me all the way up to 80!
Ok time to cool it down... ... . headlights coming at me... . PLEASE don't be a county! :{ (heavily protrolled hwy)... ... ahh ok it wasn't one..... BACK TO THE FLOOR SHE GOES! :-laf Anyways you think this guy would be a gracious loser after being beaten by a 7000lbs truck! but NO! he decided's he's gonna play nascar and DRAFT MY ARSE! #@$%! So I maintain the speed limit on this hwy and the guy doesn't even make a move to pass me! He's so freak'n close behind me that looking in either side mirror or my rearview I CANNOT tell there is a car behind me!
This guy is freak'n NUTS... ... . If a deer ran out in front of me (also HIGHLY likely on this hwy) he would be kissing my rear diff cover! So we're coming down the hwy and a car slows down to turn right... ... I slow down drop to 4th and the little twirp doesn't even consider passing just stays glued to my rear... ... . ok you little twirp here you go 5th gear less than 1500 RPM brake applied moderately and fuel pedal to the floor!! Oo. Oo. Nice dose of unburnt #2 all across his windshield (oh yeah I moved over and centered my tailpipe!)... ... he backed off for a second but a mile down the road he was back on my butt. A few miles down we entered a speed zone (it had went from 40 to 55 but goes back to 45 here)... ... I slow down drop to 4th and am easying through the area... ... the road shifts as there is a middle turning lane under two caution lights overhanging the intersection..... I see his turn signal come on barely as he scoots over just a bit to my left and I think ok good bye present... ... hit 5th gear and deposited some more #2 on his hood with a "your #1 gesture" out the window as I kept going and he turned!
Man I want more HP and more SMOKE! but I've got priorites straight on this truck... . not gonna sacrifice this clutch until I can afford a Dual Disk!
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I smoked a guy out but not with exhuast. Some guy pulled up on the right and started mouthing off about something about but I had no idea what. Pulled forward enough that the rear tires were next to his door and did a power brake... . may have got some exhaust from that too lol. Light turned green just as smoke engulfed him and I let off the brake and left him sitting. Couldn't even see him in the mirror! Never saw him again.
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Issue 128 – Digital Version
Digital Magazines
FREE!
TDR Test Drive - Digital Edition
Renew
Subscribe
Gift Subscriptions
Back Issues
Subscription Status
Address Change Form
Buyer's Guides
Ram Diagnostic Trouble Codes
The Perfect Collection
The Perfect Collection Vol. II
TSB Updates
Dodge/Cummins Historical Overview
Cameron Collection
What Makes Us Tick?
Product Showcase
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