Great Smoke Stories!

[Todd G]

I got busted a few months ago. Was about 1:00AM and gave it a little to much go-peddle at a light. Out of the fog behind me I see flashing lights I pull over and this officer is mad as a hornet. Yells me up one side and down the other for smoking him out. Then he starts in how I burned rubber (NOT) and how I was speeding (NOT). I explained to him how I just passed our emmissions test the week before but he was not interested. I told him I was not speeding and didn't hear the tires break loose because I had the windows down. This guy is furious. He writes me up for exhibition of speed, a 6 point violation:--)



Anyway, I go to court and tell the city procecuter about the incident and have emmissions certificate in hand. My big old diesel couldn't possibly have the power to spin the tires could it? He tells me I can put my word against the officer in court or plea bargain for a lessor offence. I took a speeding ticket worth 2 points.

 

[nickleinonen]

a few days ago while going to work in the morning, i was following some biker [harley style - i know nothing about bikes though] and we were both following a ford econoline school bus. normally all the mini school bus' i see have the exhaust routed to come out the drivers side by a long pipe and elbow that runs right under the rear bumper [to keep smoke away from them kiddies] but this one had the exhaust like on the big bluebird bus' that come straight out the rear offset to the passenger side. well we got stuck at a set of lights and the bus was first there. the driver seemed to be in a hurry cause when the light went green, she put the foot to the floor and blasted out a nice cloud of beautiful black smoke. i was impressed, but the biker was not. he got fogged real good and he roared off to pass the bus while flying the one finger salute [bus had no kids in it at the time] to the driver... it happened on monday - what a great way to start an otherwise lousy work day :-laf

 

[C. Harlan]

Saturday night, we were in Luling, TX for the Watermelon Thump... As we were walking back to the truck, some homie g's were driving by, with their cool-guy TV screens showing (Blank, but on), and told us to get the f*** out of the street. . This angered me somewhat, but I was delighted to catch them at the ice house, while were loading up on beer. . Not only did I leave them in a cloud at the ice house when we left, but I got them twice as bad at the stoplight in town! Maybe their little wannabe gangster @sses will think twice before they mouth off, and get a mouth of unburned fuel!!



-Chris-

 

[Got Smoke?]

Got one for ya Chris... you'd be proud!



As you can see my stacks are for sale... ...

Well I went and had my factory pipe hooked back up yesterday... ... . not and hour and 1/2 later I was pulling up to a red light on a 3-lane road. Well just as I'm pulling up in the middle lane (it and the one to the left of it turn left) this lady in a pearl white Xterra cuts me off... . I really didn't think anything of it till I got over and rolled up past her in the far left lane... .....



She was on a damn cell phone!!!!



So I rolled up with ye old smoke pipe pointed right at her pretty Xterra... . decided to wait till we rolled through the turn... ... .



even better.....



a car rolled up I mean ON MY @$$! at the light... ... so once the light turned green I waited for the car in front of me to give me some space... . I kinda grannyed through the turn... . then just as I was about to hit 3rd gear at low RPMs the car that was on my @$$ shoots up and over between me and the Xterra 1/2 through the turn..... so I just hit third and STOMPED on it!!Oo. Oo. Oo.



Lost both car and Xterra in a BIG could of soot! aimed directly at them courtesy of my factory pipe with 4" chrome tip!!

 

[Sticks]

I finally got my first!Oo.



Coming back from my cabin in the mountains with my ETH/DEE and Edge EZ, hauling a 2000# load of granite, and the usual weekend gear.



When climbing Eisenhower east from Dillion, this midlife crisis with a small d!@k driving a brand new Porsche convertible with the top down, keeps running ahead in the right lane, jumping back into the middle or left lane when he gets behind a slow mover and causing everyone else to brake and loose what momentum they had, and the whole time he is going back and forth, he usually only gets one or two cars ahead of me. Thus with my load and the altitude, I either smoke every one behind me or have to take it real easy getting it wound back up.



Well everyone ahead of me is getting tired of this idiot, and nobody leaves him a gap. I am in the left lane, he gets pinned in the center, and there is a line of slowmovers on the right. I start pacing the car he is pinned behind, the guy right behind me in a Ford PSD (been following me for a while) backs off a lot more, and guess who drops behind me. I don't even bother to downshift from 6th. I just lay into it from 50mph and he gets fogged real bad. Now about the time I get some boost built up (7 seconds of good black smoke), the guy has backed off my butt and the Ford is crawling up is butt and laying into the horn. I let off the throttle a couple of seconds, the Porsche catches up to me, and I fog him again. Three times I get away with doing this before he finally rockets around us in the right lane.



The guy in the Ford pulls up next to me laughing his a$$ off and give me a thumbs up.

 

[C. Harlan]

I have smoked a Land Cruiser leaving Dillon going to the tunnel as well! it's funny you mention that you were there! they would not back off, so I just laid into it..... This was before any BOMBs, but the altitude makes it smoke more anyway... Oh well, just thought I would share that!

 

[Kalaehina]

What's the basic bombs needed to smoke?, I think it's finally time for me to learn this "art".

 

[C. Harlan]

Smoke Basics:

Big injectors or 191 Delivery Valves, and a 11 or 10 plate. . I had lots of smoke with just an 11 and 191's... Try that...



-Chris-

 

[Got Smoke?]

Originally posted by Kalaehina

What's the basic bombs needed to smoke?, I think it's finally time for me to learn this "art".

Kalaehina, my friend remove your rackstop!! You already have a plate... removing your rackstop will give you a good amount of smoke.



Just take the AFC housing off..... loosen/remove the bolt facing the front of the motor... pop the little rod out holding in the "boot looking thing"..... remove "boot looking thing"... . reinstall said rod and bolt. Oo.

 

[Kalaehina]

Mark-okay going to look in to this rack stop, what is the purpose of it anyway?, I'm sure I'm not going to miss it , so that combined with bigger injectors is a good start? Hmm, starting to get... . excited .

 

[C. Harlan]

I tell all of y'all what... . I never expected this thread to go on this long, but it's kind of cool!! I think if everyone who has not rated it, voted it as a 5 star thread, it would REALLY be rockin'!!!!

Just a thought



-Chris-

 

[bmoeller]

Originally posted by charlan

I think if everyone who has not rated it, voted it as a 5 star thread, it would REALLY be rockin'!!!!

Just a thought



-Chris-

I just did. 5 stars all the way. This is one of my favorites.

 

[C. Harlan]

Gave a moron some smoke yesterday!

Mother and I were going to the sporting goods store yesterday to get something for her Bday, and there is a guy about to pull out of the parking spot. I sit patiently while he removes his head from his but, and gets the phone unstuck from his ear. . As soon as he pulls out, I begin to position myself to back into the spot. . As I am doing that, someone comes from behind where he was parked and proceeds to pull up to the front spot. . I give him the motion that I am going to park there, and he tells me to move on. . NO!!!! I DONT THINK SO! so I sit there and wait for him to get out of his car, and mom in the shotgun seat tells me "Smoke his @ss!!!" Ok! No problemo!!! I get up by the front of his car, dump 3rd gear, and lug it down to about 400 RPMs, and press the pedal to the floor! He was lost in the cloud and did not know which way was where! That's ok... Too bad I didnt have the Fulmer Smoke machine, but mom and I both got a good laugh out of it!



-Chris-

 

[bmoeller]

Re: Gave a moron some smoke yesterday!

Originally posted by charlan

and mom in the shotgun seat tells me "Smoke his @ss!!!" Ok! No problemo!!!



-Chris-

Makes you proud doesn't it?

 

[C. Harlan]

I got a guy in a Dmax on Thursday... Was cruising home in the left lane, and all of a sudden there was a Chevy HD on my tailgate. doing 75 already, I get up to about 90, and case closed, well for a min or so, because then he is back for more... this time I bury the pedal to the floor, and off we go!!! well, we come up to the light on the road, and he rolls up with his windows down. . He looks over at me, sizing the truck up and down, and I turn down the radio and ask him if that's all he has to play with... he got a little and when the light turned green, he tried to take off and lose me, but he got lost in the cloud! Oh well. . It was fun!!



-Chris-

 

[C. Harlan]

I did get someone that morning in an ISB-E... .

I was just leaving for work, and got to the same light as the previous story, but of course on the other side of the road. . I was taking off, rowing through gears like no big deal, and all of a sudden, I hear this motor get obnoxiously loud, which I understand after a certain RPM they get as loud as an ISB, anyways back to the story... . so he takes off, and he looks at me as he is going by, giving the 'you dont stand a chance in that old truck' look... WRONG!!! I lay into that pedal, and row through the gears, catch up with him in 5th, stay on the side of him, wave, and mash 6th, get up to about 90 on the dash, slow down, and for some reason he will not get back up there with me. Oh well... if he wanted to play, he should have noticed he had no gauges, I had 3 (for now, more in the works!!) he had a muffler, with 3". . I had straight 4"... oh well, I am sure he will think twice next time he wants to play with another CTD!



-Chris-

 

[CATCRACKER]

Charlan,



take it easy on the ISB-E fellas. we will probably have to return the favor to you later on like when the 225hp boxes come out couple that with 100hp injectors on HX55 :--)





later CC

 

[C. Harlan]

Hey, no harm intended!! It's just that this guy tried to show me up, thinking like the DMax people, in the way of "I have more Stock HP than you!"... I hope that makes sense. . they dealers and commercials give these people big heads, when its not really anything to get excited about!



-Chris-

 

[C. Harlan]

Just got some more high school kids on the way home

from Krispy Kreme...



I made the turnaround, getting back on the highway, and I see these kids dart out from behind me, trying to beat me to where it bottlenecks from 3 lanes to 1. . Well, it didnt happen, and they got LOTS of CTD cackle!! When we got on the highway, I jumped over into the left lane, with the 2 guys on my tailgate. . I was going about 45, grabbed 6th, and put the pedal to the floor! :-laf :-laf Whaddya know?? The light is red!! They get behind me, to the point where I cannot even barely see them under my tailgate, so I decide to do a 3rd gear takeoff, and leave them in a cloud! the next light is red, they get in the left turn lane, and the passenger flicks me off... I DONT THINK SO! So, I follow them, and ask them what their problem is, and I get a "Bro, you're f---ing crazy! your truck throws hella smoke! Why you gotta blow smoke on us like that??" to which I reply "If you were not so close to my back bumper, I would not be trying to get you to back off like that!" then I got another finger, from passenger again, and it just so happens they were in proximity of the exhaust pipe AGAIN! so I dumped first gear, going for distance, hoping the cloud would make it in the car. . BAM! Right on the money!!! :-laf :-laf :-laf :-laf Oh well. . Don't try to run with the big dogs when you pee like a poodle!



-Chris-

 

[CATCRACKER]

i was just poking at cha. if i was you i would smoke a ISB-E anytime they tried to play also! these new ISB-E trucks are silent and smoke free killers when souped up. they do have a weight problem though.



SMoke On! CC