Great Smoke Stories!

[JyRO]

dampening the mood....

charlan -



It *seems* that you go looking for someone to smoke. I think you put yourself in the situation to smoke somebody ... just for the smoke of it. You must smoke 10 or 20 people a day. Your posts paint a picture of a guy that is overly eager to have to happen to be in the right place to smoke out someone. You happen to be D/C brethren, so you've evidently got a good head on your shoulders.



One of these days, you're gonna smoke the wrong person ... and at the rate you're going, it may not be too long from now.



I'm not bashing smoking people, if they deserve it. I drive as aggressively as anyone on this site. Yet very very rarely do I even find anyone that needs a good smokin'. Maybe you live in a town full of a$$holes, though. Not long ago, while in my 4Runner, a guy pulled some cr@p that was unbelievable, and d@mn near caused me to T-bone him. I won't go into detail, but he messed with the wrong guy, because when I lose my temper, I go illegally irrate (temporarily insane). And I ain't exaggerating (ask my wife). I would've been "detained" by the law if he'd been able to say who I was/am. When I'm not irrate, I'm awfully regrettful for the things I do, sometimes. But my 2 boys (3 y. o. and 7 month old) lives were at stake & I flipped out. I need to have some treatment for it maybe. I will say that I didn't physically harm him, but lets just say that ... . well lets not say.



This is not a rip on you (I hope its not coming across that way) ... I'm just trying to say that you may want to try to live and let live and not go looking for a fight (or a smoke victim in this case). One of these days, you're gonna get more than you bargained for. Smoke those who deserve it, but don't be so eager to voluntarily jump into a situation that may wind up with some smokin' and or road rage kind of stuff. Some people out there may flip out on you.



- JyRO

 

[C. Harlan]

The part of town that I live in, the people are known to have more money than brains. They drive their cars while using the glass stomach technique, known to you and I as being able to see what they're doing while their head is inserted fully up their @ss. I don't go looking for people to smoke, but I just happen to be living in an area where there is an abundance of ignorant people all gathered together to make one ignorant area. . I am not trying to bash rich people, but if you came down here to Texas, and more or less around the 10 or 20 mile radius of my residence, you will see that everyone wants to move this way, and, like said earlier, they have more money than brains, therefore allowing them to make stupid acts, thinking it is ok, and that they can buy their way out of it. I hope this answers your reply throughly, and feel free to post any other opinions.



-Chris-

 

[JyRO]

No ... no more opinions. I'll be posting a good smoke story when I get one. My problem is, most of the time I can only manage to make a bit more than a haze. Occasionally I can do better, but I don't have the "smoke on command" ability that some do. And I don't drive my truck everday, and when I do, I don't run into many who need a smoking. But that day is coming. And I'll post when it does. I'll be driving 'Ole Blue tomorrow cause my 1990 Celica cr@pped out on me this morning. All it is, is a alternator. Easily replaced tomorrow. Maybe I'll get the chance to smoke somebody tomorrow if they do something dumb.



I wish I could do the 3rd gear start like some of you can and put smoke in an open window at traffic lights (if justified). My problem is, mine won't blow smoke until it reaches X lbs. of boost, because the EZ won't dump extra fuel until it achieve X lbs. of boost. I got to be rolling about 10 mph in 3rd before I can achieve a fair amount of smoke. That and I run Stanadyne. So I'm pretty limited in the smoke-ability department. But I try.



- JyRO

 

[C. Harlan]

Let us bow our heads, and say the Diesel-Head's Prayer:

May the Low Boost and High Fuel be with us all!



-C-

 

[Doc Tinker]

I smoke anyone who is behind me, at every light. Don't matter if it's the wife, the in-laws, the boss, the governor, the IRS, the cops or the president. They all get an equal blast of black soot.



Doc

 

[HoleshotHolset]

It has been said before about how we shouldn't do it to bikes..... but it works all together too well to get tailgaters off your butt.



I had a ricer and a hog all in the same day last week. In a rush to go nowhere and less than 4' from my rear bumper.



I give a warning puff..... if that doesn't hit home with them... . they get engulfed in a cloud that would make Spy Hunter jealous.



Matt

 

[OTRPU]

Don't shoot self in foot...

Hi all, I know it's all in good fun, but harrassing the citizenry may get you potatoes or worse sholved up your pipes. The city council of one town I was in recently is holding a meeting to entertain the idea of changing local laws. Seems Dave's Diesels does an extremely efficient job of mandrel bending up custom pipes from the turbo back. Some Y and go duels out in front of the wheels, some in back of the wheels, and to add insult to injury he runs them up through the bed close to the bulkhead and Y's them into awsome 4 to 6 inch stacks. (Tipped to your preference). Anyway, several of Ricks younger customers get to strutting their stuff up/down main street, small town, USA. Word is Friday nights look similar to the sanctioned tractor/sled pulls held there. The local Jondarm has visited Dave's Diesels a couple times, politely asking Rick to tone down this weekend activity. If he doesn't that the city council will enact db limit laws, ticket all vehicles that don't have mufflers, and intends to lower the speed limit on main street to 15 or 20 MPH. They figure they'll be able to erect a new fountain in the town square with the revenue collected from Dave's Diesels customers alone. Point is don't let the power go to your head, and use your head when using the power. Tar & feathering ain't that far gone. For your serious consideration.



P. S. I'm an old duff, but soon as I can I'm having Rick bend me up a pair of them chrome stacks. I'll impress um with the shine. . . not the whine.



Cheers, Steve J.

 

[CATCRACKER]

this is very true. but one other thing to consider by law a turbo is concidered a suffcient muffling device.

 

[OTRPU]

I don't know. . . but if that were true I would think that the manufacturers would save the expense and not install them in the first place. It's no skin off my nose either way. Only time I drive Main street is getting to a dealer to drop something off. I'm alittle disappointed when I see black smoke out my pipe, you see I pay too much for my fuel and I elect to burn it as efficiently as I can. Environmental issues notwithstanding the economics of the situation are my greatest concern.



Be Safe,

Steve J.

 

[JHerrlich]

this is very true. but one other thing to consider by law a turbo is concidered a suffcient muffling device.

A turbo is only considered and adequate muffling device in some states. Unfortunately it's not here in California... It's also not specifically stated either... .

 

[C. Harlan]

Hi all, I know it's all in good fun, but harrassing the citizenry may get you potatoes or worse sholved up your pipes.

-Just a warning to the to-be vandal:



Ya better have a pretty damn big spud to put in my exhaust pipe! I dont think a normal one will fit! Also, I think it would shoot it out like one of my many potato guns, only this one is turbocharged!



-Chris-

 

[CATCRACKER]

Originally posted by JHerrlich

A turbo is only considered and adequate muffling device in some states. Unfortunately it's not here in California... It's also not specifically stated either... .

"some states" like all the Southern States..... Hell ya



most southern towns i have been in you can be sitting at a cafe on main street and all of a sudden TTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAP TTTTTTTTTTTAP look out of the window to see bubba :-laf his ass off hittin his jakes on his Cummins N14+ that has no muffler 7" angle cut straight stacks with 50K of harwoods on the rack! makes our little CTD SEEM quiet. it is almost equivalent to the movie Top Gun when Mavrick does a fly by on the control tower. the little old ladies shake thier heads in dissaproval and the little boys (future cummins owners) holding their mommas hand look on in amazement. You guys who live in the country know what i am talking about... ... . Dang I love the South!

 

[C. Harlan]

Got to play with a Turbo Gasser VW Bug 2 days ago... Smoked him to top end, but he eased by me with just a little more gas pedal than I had. . We gave each other thumbs up, and went along our ways. . I bet he was when he saw that CTD moving like that!!



-Chris-

 

[WadePatton]

Originally posted by OTRPU

I'm alittle disappointed when I see black smoke out my pipe,...

Hey Steve, this ain't a safe thread for you to hang around. We're all a bunch of SOOT monsters!



Unleaded stinks. #2 doesn't--enjoy!!!



BTW I can drive on 5x5 without making smoke. I can also get 22. 5 MPG. But I rarely do either. I have lead toes and my ankle gets weak and the dang top part of my foot just flops to the floor!Oo.

 

[MCummings]

Originally posted by WadePatton

I have lead toes and my ankle gets weak and the dang top part of my foot just flops to the floor!Oo.

You too ?



I can't drive smokeless on my 24V (unless cruising/coasting), and I get 9-17MPG.



My 12V..... Now that's a smoke on demand machine.



Merrick Cummings Jr

 

[C. Harlan]

My 12V..... Now that's a smoke on demand machine.

Yes... . See, you get good GPM (Gallons Per Mile), as I get 14-15 Empty, and 9 Loaded... BUT!!! you know what??? It's my #2, and I can burn it any way I want to, since I PAID FOR IT!!!!! Every time I get cussed at by someone, that is my free ticket out!



-Chris-

 

[C. Harlan]

My 12V..... Now that's a smoke on demand machine.

Yes... . See, you get good GPM (Gallons Per Mile), as I get 14-15 Empty, and 9 Loaded... BUT!!! you know what??? It's my #2, and I can burn it any way I want to, since I PAID FOR IT!!!!! Every time I get cussed at by someone for blowing unburnt fuel, that is my free ticket out! Try it sometime!! it usually works!



-Chris-

 

[LightmanE300]

How do you guys with auto's and 03 HO's do with smoke? I'm wondering if you can 'soot' anyone with that setup? Do you guys notice more smoke with the AC on?



I must admit I sooted someone last night. Some guy in a minivan was tailgating the bumper of my MB way too closely, it was driving me nuts. He could clearly see there was traffic in front of me, so riding my bumper wouldn't help anything. Finally I was the first at a red light, and he pulls up so close I cant even see his windshield in the rearview, or the grille. I did notice before though that his windows were down:-laf I FLOORED it, and left the guy in a thick nasty black cloud that stretched for a hundred yards or so. Hard to say if it was the speed at which I left him or the sooting treatment, but didn't see him again! I admittedly also like sooting motorcyclists that ride too closely to my bumper. If I haven't floored it in a while, the mb at WOT could give some dump trucks a run for their money smoke wise hehee. The TDI is a lost cause, you can't get that thing to smoke.

 

[bmoeller]

Originally posted by LightmanE300

The TDI is a lost cause, you can't get that thing to smoke.

Have you BOMBed it yet? I saw somewhere on the net that you can get boxes for them like the 24v.



Found this using Yahoo, can't remember which site I was at for a dealer in the states. http://www.starperformance.co.uk/vw.htm

 

[C. Harlan]

I want to say it is EDGE who has the box for the TDI's, as my mom is wanting to look into getting a jetta, but does not want a diesel, to which I told her she could look cool, go to our Diesel Rallies, pull up in a TDI (BOMB'd of course), with gauges on the pillar, and lay down some good #'s! How cool would that be?? Anyways back to the boxes..... Does anyone have the link to the place where you can get boxes for the TDI's????



-Chris-